So apparently when we first asked my fiancés dad to host and pay for the rehearsal dinner literally over a year ago he heard “host” and not “pay” and now is apparently shocked that they’re supposed to be paying for the rehearsal dinner 🙃 like okay then I guess we’ll just have to do it. His dad has complained more than once about how “far” our venue is (less than 30 minutes drive time), and my parents are paying for our entire wedding. We asked if my fil and his gf would be comfortable doing this and they said yes and I haven’t been saving for the rehearsal dinner at all. So what’s the best and most cost friendly way to do a rehearsal dinner? I’m trying not to be too upset about this but I just found out and I’m not happy about it
That is really disappointing to say the least, but I do agree that a rehearsal dinner is not just an opportunity to get the logistics of the ceremony worked out, but also a way to thank all the friends and family who have spent time and money to support you on your big day. I think if your FFIL isn't stepping up, it is something you'll have to take on, and I think given how busy you'll be, you don't want to add prep and clean-up to your plate. So, the inexpensive mexican place could work, or perhaps at least a cocktail / hors d'oevres style gathering could minimize the cost and clean-up. I'm sorry this landed in your lap!
View quoted message
When we initially talked a year ago he had mentioned using his house. My fiancé mentioned maybe a bbq after my fil expressed shock about being expected to pay (even though I know I brought up when we asked them to host the rehearsal dinner that hosting includes paying) and my fil immediately suggested that we use our own backyard to do it so I’m assuming he’s not interested in having it at his house or hosting at all anymore.
I would have a BBQ at his place and make him do the clean up. Or see about local catering and still do it at his place. If he somewhat offered to do it at his house.
It sucks that he did that to you. My Fiance keeps telling me not to worry his parents will pay part of the wedding and I am going in as if like we are paying everything and if there's contribution great, if not it's okay I planned that way. You can plan something fun for 25 people, if you have a Costco I would get all your BBQ stuff there. But Mexican dinner doesn't sound like a bad idea and affordable for that many people.
View quoted message
Our rehearsal is scheduled for the Thursday before the wedding. I wanted to avoid having it at our house because we don’t have a dishwasher and we’d be stuck doing all the cleanup. When we first talked my fil mentioned setting up extra tables at his house or renting a private room somewhere, so idk what happened with that but if it does happen at my house he’s not getting any hosting credits whatsoever.
We are hosting a backyard BBQ two days before the wedding. No hangovers for the big day and everyone can have a rest day between. It's tough to find this out so late in the game but hosting a happy hour with appetizers might be another option to a full blown meal. I'm sure whatever you plan will be great...best wishes!!
View quoted message
It’s going to be about 24 or 25 people - that’s our parents and bridal party and us and that’s it. I’ve contacted a local Mexican place to see roughly how much it would be, I’m thinking it would be between $500 and $600 total if we do it there. I’d rather not cut the dinner but I’ve definitely been blindsided when we had previously discussed this and were told they were fine doing it.
I am doing a rehearsal cocktail instead and everyone pays for themselves. Its really just a chance for everyone to meet before the wedding the next day. We are just going give heads up to a bar and let them know this many people will be coming. This will also be totally optional and if they do decide to come they do not have to stay while. It will start at 7pm and myself and FH will be leaving at 10 the latest considering the next day is going to be hectic! The people who decide to come don't even have to buy alcoholic beverage, they can literally order a coke and take off after saying hi.