Forgotten Bridal Party Tasks

We also each took a part of making sure the bride had her something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue....

I have asked my MOH to show up and dress as she likes in one of 4 colours. That's it, all I expect. That being said for other weddings I was part of I helped a great deal with stag and does, getting donations, working the games and selling tickets, paying for gifts for it as well, I helped plan the night before, paid for my hair, makeup and dresses, I got gifts for bride and groom for all occasions. I think each wedding I have been a part of has cost around $**** after everything is all said and done.

I know someone who was a bridesmaid a few years ago got some flack from the bride because the bridesmaids didn't throw a bridal shower. So technically she "forgot" but the bride never indicated she wanted one until it was too late and I personally feel that it's not fair to expect that from your bridal party. In my opinion, since a shower is a gifting event, it should be initiated by someone else of their own initiative. I think it's extremely tacky to demand someone pay the cost of hosting an event for the purpose of you getting gifts.

As far as I'm concerned, the bridal party is only obligated to throw you your respective bachelor/bachelorette party (which could be as grand or as low key as they're able to handle - wedding couples who demand their bridal party take extensive time off and pay for your lavish glorified vacation are nuts), get the appropriate clothes (within reason), and show up to the wedding. A few small tasks here and there is fine but I personally get really annoyed when couples treat their bridal parties as muscle/glorified vendors.

And a lot of the things you mentioned (having food lunch, an emergency kit, etc) really falls on the couple themselves or the wedding planner, in my opinion. Unless the couple specifically asked me as a groomsman to help take care of lunch or having a particular handy kit that I agreed to, I would feel like I'm intruding if I just did things randomly out of the blue. You could consult the couple as well, but doing that too much might make them feel like you're second guessing their ability to have a handle on their day.