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K
Curious July 2023 Ontario

Flower girl & Ring bearer

K, on December 17, 2019 at 13:36 Posted in Wedding ceremony 0 8

Me and my Fiancé are having issues deciding on who we are going to pick to be the flower girl and ring bearer. How does it normally work? flower girl from the brides side and ring bearer from the grooms? My finances family is significantly larger than mine making up most of the wedding so we've been thinking to use his best mans daughter as the flower girl and his nephew as the ring bearer...thoughts? suggestions?

8 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on December 20, 2019 at 16:11
  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    Theres no rule to pick from whatever side. my sisters son is the ring boy and his sisters daughter is the flower girl. but you guys can pick anyone you want!

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I've never heard of a rule that the flower girl/ring bearer had to come from a specific side.

    There were no kids I'm close to on my side but I knew my DH's niece (who's now my niece too) would be the perfect flower girl and her brother was our ring bearer!

    You also don't have to have either. If you don't have a clear candidate for flower girl and/or ring bearer, you don't need to have one. I've been to weddings where there was only a flower girl or only a ring bearer or they skipped kids in the wedding all together. You can also have more than 1 of either (i.e. 2+ flower girls and/or ring bearers).

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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
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    I don't think there are any rules.


    I remember when I was little my cousin got married and I had never met the flower girl before that day (she wasn't related to my cousin the bride) we had a wonderful one day friendship.
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    You can have as many flower girls/boys as you wish. Ring bearer can be chosen as the one you would fit best.

    Divide or have them walk one after another. Dividing the flower kids between the wedding party is one way or to have them first walk down the aisle.

    We had 4 flower kids in whole. 2 from my family side and 2 of husbands co workers.

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  • S
    Expert September 2020 Quebec
    Shannon ·
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    Hello K,

    No rules to follow you can have whomever you like. If you like you can have only flower girls or only ring bearers. More then 2 is ok too.

    Usually a bride would ask her brother or sister's children, your niece's and nephew's. Also your close cousin's children I would ask after my sister or brother. No family no problem, as a friend or like you said FH side of the family.

    Usually the children are under the age of seven. But that's not set in stone, you can do as you please on your wedding day. 😊

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  • Samantha
    Super June 2021 Ontario
    Samantha ·
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    I don't think there are any rules to this, at least not by todays standards. My ring bearer is my dog, so...yeah lol I was considering having my niece be a flower girl, but I'm not close to my sister and only see my niece at Christmas time so I didn't know if it was weird asking. So we just decided we weren't going to worry about finding/having a flower girl.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Although we did not go with having either (no kids at our wedding!!) - we would have just went with whichever kid was the most behaved/ cutest/ closest to us.

    So although I have like 2 cousins who both have kids - they would have never been asked since they are WILD and not disciplined AT ALL. Then although our one BM/GM's kid is well behaved and close to us, she is already like 10 years old so to me that is too old so she would also be out of the running. We would be left with kids on his side which we would have like 6 options 1, 1, 3, 1 (3 are sisters). Veto the sisters as to not have to have them all or hurt the other's feelings. left with 3 options. say no to 1, and 1, since they are close cousins and hard to separate either. And left with one that is like 5 and imo cute as a button! Same thing with having a ring bearer except I don't think I like any of the options.... so...

    It's whoever you want it to be!

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  • M
    Frequent user May 2021 Ontario
    Megan ·
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    I'm not 100% sure if there is a tradition to who fills which position, I was under the impression that you can have anyone fill the role whose child you think deserves a little honour for the day. If there aren't any super significant children that you think should fill the role from your side and your partner has kids he wants to do it, then go for it with them! I was also in a wedding as a kid where two of us were flower girls, so there's no rules around it Smiley smile

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