Firing bridesmaids

The negativity can definitely be very frustrating but that is very thoughtful of you to put her in contact with your hair stylist! I had a similar situation with my sister/MOH. We just have very different ideas of what we want for our weddings and it could be difficult when they're not able to accept the differences and see that ultimately it's your wedding and not theirs! I had many a vent with my husband about it. As for the other bridesmaid, maybe give her a deadline? Or have FH reach out and say "hey did you get my fiances' message? Can you please get back to her soon?" Hope she gets back to you soon!

I'm glad you and your bestie are pretty much back to normal. I'm sorry she is being a bummer about wedding plans, try not to take it to heart- I would like to think she doesn't mean to be horrible!

In regards to the other woman, has your FH tried talking to her? It would be kind of hard for you to have an honest conversation with her since you don't know each other very well....but maybe just say something like "I know you are very busy, but it would really help to get your (hair ideas/ thoughts on this etc)" Maybe a little guilt will help? Is she known for being difficult to get in touch with or even a little flaky?

I did hear back from one of them that day... She was super negative about the photos that I sent her of hair styles (in fact she has had something negative to say about every aspect of the wedding)... She has been my BFF for the past 22 years and I hope that I was not as negative for her wedding (but it is possible)... She was worried that she would have no say in her hair style so I put her in touch with my stylist and he is willing to work with her (even though I was a complete bitch about her when I was venting to him)... We worked it out and I'm glad that I didn't do anything rash because she is one of my oldest friends... I still haven't heard from the other one and it has been 3 days... Its super frustrating since she is the one that FH invited for me... I will text her again on Thursday to remind her but I'm not expecting much... So far no one has been fired, I may have had a mini bridal melt down... Thank you for all the support and advise.

Hi Katherine! My bridesmaids were spread out across the country so it was a challenge to keep everyone in the loop! When I needed info from them, I tried to contact them in advance and give them a deadline to get it to me by. Everyone has their own stuff going on so I tried to give them at least a week's notice. I would email them all and say something like "hey ladies! Just wanted to give you an update. I'm meeting with our hair/makeup vendor on date so could you please send me a picture of your hair (front and back) by date so I can show it to them? I'll keep you posted on how the appointment goes! Thank you!" Then I would send an individual text saying "hey can you check your email when you have a chance? Hope you're doing well!" Your bridesmaids are your closest friends and/or family so I think you should always try and give them the benefit of the doubt. "Firing" someone should really be a last resort because if you do that, you're really firing them as a friend and not a bridesmaid and there are clearly bigger issues than just not being helpful during the wedding planning process. I don't see how you could remain friends with someone after they've been fired. It's one thing if they decide to step down because they underestimated being able to commit and it's another for you to kick them out. It can be tough to keep things in perspective when we're in the middle of wedding planning but feel free to vent to us because we get it!

I remember you had mentioned one of your bridesmaids is actually a good friend of you FH- is this the person in question? Maybe he could get in touch with her?

I think 6 hours is a bit quick to freak out- but certainly send a reminder text. While you still have a few months to nail down details, it is pretty fair to provide example photos to a stylist who asks!

I would not have the "you're fired"conversatobn unless you are willing to potentially end all contact and relationship with this person. There might be something going on she doesn't want to burden you with, but is keep ing her busy. Or she truly isn't interested in being involved....which means she never should have accepted the position and probably isn't a great friend.

It is a brutal situation- don't let it spoil your planning and build up!

I would give them more then 6 hours before getting worried. Text tuem back and say they have a few days to get back to u or u might have to reconsider who is in the wedding party. I know this sounds harsh but sometimes if ppl are not willing to be accommodating then whats the point on trying

I dont think it's a horrible idea at all. When someone is asked to stand it is their choice to say yes or no! If they say yes there is a certain requirement of them. Which means to stay in contact not necessarily every day but weekly check ins or when the bride/groom needs them. My fiance had a BM who hadn't talked to her in 4 months so she asked her to step down. It's been almost a year and that bm/friend is no longer on her friends list nor on our guest list. The fiancé made every attempt possible to get together and she either always cancelled or wouldn't respond. So nope. Firing a bm sometimes needs to happen. If it ends the friendship then you don't want them standing for you.

Hello!! I would give them a bit more time to respond, they might be out or busy and not able to send you photos. Any news from them yet? Perhaps if they don't answer tonight, give them a call tomorrow? When is the trial for? Let us know how it goes with your BMs and the hair trial!

Firing bridesmaids is kind of a relationship ending move, it really should be avoided at all costs! 6 hours really isn't a long time to send photos, they could be up to something else and just not able to step away for a minute to take the photos. I would give them more time and maybe if they don't answer in 2 days , then send a reminder. But also try and have non-wedding related conversations, they are still your friends and as much as our weddings tend to consume our lifes, they don't really have the same effect on our friends and family.

I would definitely get some sleep before making any kind of decision. I do think you may be over-reacting a bit, give them time, they'll come through. I ask very little of my BMs and lately they've been coming and asking me if I need any help, but it really hasn't been until this month (2.5 months before the wedding) that they've really been in contact (and only 2 of 4 have), and that's fine with me! They bought their dresses and I have no pre-wedding events (aside from a bachelorette), and I'm the one that chose to make A LOT of DIY projects (I managed my time and would be fine finishing them myself), so all they have to do is show up on the wedding day now! I guess just keep your expectations of others in check.

I'm sure they'll get back to you soon

Hi Katherine, yikes I feel sorry for you! This is why I have 1 MOH! That's it! She's not in alot of contact right now , but I just text her to put certain things in her calendar! Lol Her daughter is getting married in September so I don't want to push her too much buy come October, she's mine, all mine! Lol At the end of the day, do what's best for you. I'm sure you don't want to damage the friendships but at the same time, they should be there for you as well. If you fire them, they should understand!!! Let us know how it works out! How did your hair trial go?

Hi Katherine, I understand your frustration and I don't feel you are over reacting. I had to dimiss one of my bridemaids as they did not stay in communication. When it was a few days before the dress fitting I received a Facebook message apologizing for not staying in touch. I accept her apology but I made a decision to replace her. If they don't get back to within a reasonable time, it's best to make the decision to replace them as you don't want this to continue ok closer to the wedding. Wishing you all the best.

Kay I have no good advice but I'd like to just tell you I feel the same way about mine hahaha . My best friend and maid of honour literally just told me she's not sure if she can come cuz if she gets a job in the summer she doesn't know if she can take the time off. Like what???? Just tell them you have a wedding you'll be gone for like 3 days maybe when u get hired. Not a big deal. She doesn't even want me to fire her but I'm like I need to know I can't just wait for you so I'm firing her. Then I have one girl I thought about asking her to be my maid of honour and she hasn't texted me back or answered two phone calls in 6 days. I should have just eloped so it wouldn't come to the surface that 100 percent of my friends suck. I hate everyone right now lol I'm mad sad hurt and frustrated.