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Casey
Master October 2019 Ontario

Feeling "off" with Bridal Showers

Casey, on July 8, 2019 at 13:46 Posted in Before the wedding 0 6
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So some of you who have been on here a while back, may remember me posting about my Bridal shower, and my Step Mom planning one for my side of the family, smaller venue more intimate etc.

Giving a little bit of a background: We booked the venue back in September of last year, just because it is still in "peak" season, we wanted a specific room. Up until May, no one from my FH's side has said anything about having a shower. So when they finally asked I let them know my Step Mom has started planning it and they offered to help, and everything was fine. Then in June there were several calls to my FH about this shower, and how FMIL was never approached, my step mom did this the wrong way, FMIL would have loved to do a joint shower, how can we only invite immediate family and exclude others from the shower, and much more. I explained to my FH that this is not my place to plan this, I wanted something little (Shower would be almost 100 people with both families), and because it is the Sunday before our Friday wedding, many people would think it is too close to the wedding. We asked the venue how many people we could fit, if there was anything else open and tried to accommodate everyone into one shower, but everything was booked.

Long story short, FMIL has booked a shower the weekend before my families shower, and there has been no talk of any wedding stuff since. This could be a good thing because I am not supposed to be planning anything surrounding a shower, but I just feel off about it.

Just really needed to rant, unsure what to do so I have kept quiet about any wedding things that are going on. Has anyone else encountered some drama when it comes to showers! Needing some guidance. Am I reading too far into it? Should I just let them plan it and show up!

6 Comments

Latest activity by Vinod, on July 18, 2019 at 14:17
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Families may connect in their ways of planning though communication isn't on the strong side of it all. Just be glad that you have 2 showers planned for you by the people that love you very much. Show up and enjoy the time with the families knowing there isn't any drama between your FMIL Step mother.

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  • Cliodhna
    WeddingWire Admin January 2030 Galway
    Cliodhna ·
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    I think you're right, Casey. Just show up to both and avoid any drama Smiley smile

    You have enough going on planning the actual wedding. Let them all shower you Smiley laugh

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    I would let them plan it out, its a shame about the communication but you shouldn't have to be involved.

    My mom and soon to be mother in law are planning it and seems my mom is doing all the work and paying for it all and the other is doing games... I didn't want my mom to have to pay for it all when its such a giant shower due to it being together. I hope the wedding party comes together and can help her at least with costs.

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I agree with Tori and let them plan it and show up. The only thing I had to plan for my shower was being in London for it lol. The moms could've done a better job communicating and coordinating the shower, but it's not your job to be the messenger between them.

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  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
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    Yeah there was very little communication between everyone up until like a month ago. No one on FH's side has really asked about the wedding, so this is why my Step Mom kinda just went ahead and did her own thing.

    I am just going to show up lol. Too much family drama for me!

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    I would just let them plan it and show up. I get that your FMIL would want a joint one with both sides as that is (at least as far as I'm aware) what is most common - but at this point she doesn't seem to have any beef with you but just a little ticked off about your Mom seeing as how she probably was expecting a call to help plan it and now has to find somewhere to have one for you for her side. Just wasn't expecting it as usually the MOB is who invites people and your Mom should have (if she didn't) let your FMIL know that she was only planning one for your side.

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