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Kate
Curious August 2022 Ontario

Feeling like a burden as a bride??

Kate, on April 12, 2022 at 22:55 Posted in Before the wedding 0 4
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I’ve been to countless bridal showers, bachelorettes, weddings, baby showers etc and always supported my friends and didn’t make a fuss even if I wasn’t in a good place myself (ie was single).
Maybe it’s just that I don’t love being the centre of attention but everything feels like it’s complicated?!
I’m 34 so sure I’m not getting married in my 20s like some people but I dunno I guess I felt like things would feel different??Does anyone get what I mean? Like people are coming to events but just doesn’t feel the same vibe as things have before. Less people coming to my shower than I thought. My aunt putting it together but I feel like she’s doing so because she may feel she HAS to. My out of town bachelorette I feel some people are stressing about. Maybe some of it I’m overthinking. Just wondering if anyone can relate??❤️❤️❤️

4 Comments

Latest activity by Sara, on April 25, 2022 at 16:57
  • Sara
    Newbie October 2022 Ontario
    Sara ·
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    I feel the same way Smiley smile Late bride, I am 44 and getting married for the first time. I have taken part in many wedding showers, weddings followed by baby showers Smiley smile I never blinked an eye when it came to helping out, buying gifts, etc! But now that it comes to me, I am struggling. I also don't like being the centre of attention and I can be stubborn in asking for help. But overall, I believe it's in our heads...we are overthinking. What I have done is told my wedding party it is all up to them how they want to do the shower, I have no expectations.

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  • Jenn
    Frequent user August 2023 Ontario
    Jenn ·
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    I can relate in some aspects 100% - especially since my FH and I have been engaged since 2018, and we haven't been able to have our big day yet! Feel like people have just lost the "excitement" of the whole thing or are not as invested when I talk things like bachelorette, shower or anything...

    However, I do think some of our feelings are because we are overthinking/in our heads!! You mentioned that you are in your mid-30s and getting married, but it sounds like you attended a lot of weddings/events in your 20s...which could very well be a different vibe, because none of you are the same ppl anymore - doesn't mean less invested/excited, but a different vibe.

    When it comes to ppl participating in shower - it could be that some are still concerned about covid, or are just not in a place where they can make it - I get it, it sucks, but am sure it's not a reflection on you or how they feel about you.

    As for the bachelorette - planning stuff like that is always stressful (take it from someone who has planned about 6 of them, including 2 I wasn't even in the wedding party for), but when it comes time to execute, it's always worth it for all involved.

    Not sure if this helped at all, but hope it eased some Smiley smile

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  • Kate
    Curious August 2022 Ontario
    Kate ·
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    View quoted message
    You’re so sweet. Thank you for that.
    You’re definitely probably right!! It’s the Instagram world we live in too. I think I’m also just not used to being centre of attention and am prone to feel “guilty” when people go out of their way for me.
    Will try to be more mindful!!!❤️❤️❤️
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  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Admin October 2016 North Carolina
    Lynnie ·
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    I'm so sorry you feel that way Kate!!

    I think a lot of it has to do with all the tv shows and movies we see growing up that really blow up the whole engagement and wedding planning experience into what should be "the most magical moments of your life"! Same with our friends - for the most part we just see the happy beautiful party that's the result of lots and lots of actual work. But when it's your turn to plan you see all the behind the scenes stress, logistics, and constant decisions!!

    Sending you lots of virtual love and support! Smiley heart

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