Engagment ring...disappointment?

Hello

Thank you for starting this discussion, we got engaged 6 years ago. He proposed on Christmas Eve. We used to always open a present on Christmas eve. He let me chose one I pick the small box thinking it was the earrings I kept talking about... he said wait I need to put my pants on... (he likes watching TV in his underwear) and I opened the box and saw that surprise engagement ring 10k white gold with peridot center stone and tiny diamonds... and he asked me to marry him. I said yes while crying of joy.

The ring wasn't important at all it was he fact that he wanted to marry me!

I also gave him hints for a year... I dislike white gold, I think it looks cheap I even bought myself a rose gold wedding band with diamonds for my birthday giving him a hint... I even told him I dislike solitaire and round diamonds...

So I smiled and pretended I loved it, until the center stone broke and he decide that we should buy it together.

We bought my engagement ring it is not rose gold because I am unfortunately allergic to it and we couldn't find a Emerald cut engagement ring that we liked in yellow gold. So I got white gold engagement ring and I love it!

He proposed to me again on my last birthday it was much more romantic and my parents were there so it made it very special had no idea he bought it because we had a year on lay away and he surprised me 8 months after we chose it.

It's hard not to tell our FH that we were disappointed about the ring or the lack of preparation for the proposal...

He is my one and its what matters most

I think it's really important that you talked to him about it. There's sure to be many more difficult discussions throughout your lives together so it's good practice and clearly shows he's the one since you were able to talk about it and still love each other!

I had a similar situation. We had actually found something I liked online but he only decided 2 days before that he was going to propose and didn't have time to order it so my mom had a friend who is a jeweler and he got something from him. My husband did an amazing job with the proposal and I was like "so how'd you pick the ring, I'm dying to know the story behind it!" and he was like "I just told him I needed something purple." The ring did have a gorgeous amethyst in it but the band was plain which wasn't my style and the setting was also too high so it would get caught on everything. (I gave myself some gnarly scratches with it too.) He said that we could put the stone into a new ring but I was kind of attached to the original ring because of the sentimental value. We went to Robbins Bros. to search for a band for my husband and decided to see what they had so that maybe I could design my rings but they could not handle the customization. We ended up going back to the jeweler he got the engagement ring from and showed him ideas of what we wanted and he created it from scratch! (And for a much better price too!) I ended up keeping my original ring (luckily amethysts are not as expensive as diamonds). I'm thinking about wearing it on my other hand now.

It definitely means so much more now that we were able to do it together and incorporate pieces of both of us. I'm glad that he didn't end up ordering the other rings that we looked at online because they wouldn't have been right. I love that my rings are one of a kind and they truly represent both of us! And it's so great to both finally be wearing our rings! (I used to tease my husband and be like "How will all the girls know you're engaged if you're not wearing a ring?!" haha Now I have to remind him to take it off when he showers!)

Can't wait to see what you and your fiance come up with!

Proposal ring

Wedding rings

This is a better view to see the detailing and engraving on the sides! The wedding band has the same engraving.

Also, unrelated but during our ceremony we did this thing called a "Ring Blessing" or "Passing of the Rings" which I really liked. We actually passed around our wedding bands on the little pillow and all of the guests got a moment with the rings. Here's what our officiant said "As the rings come to you, they are asking that each of you hold them for a moment and fill them with your best intentions for their lives and their marriage, then pass them on to the next person. When the rings make their way all the way around, come back to me, and then onto each of their fingers, they will contain, in their precious metal, that which is more precious than any metal or diamond, that which is actually priceless: your love, blessings and pledge of support for this marriage." We really liked this part and our guests had never seen anything like it before!

Ha ha me too

Don't get me wrong! Totally love pretty things!

I agree with you, a symbol for the world and well us too .. and what girl doesnt like something a little pretty !!

Thanks Amanda! It really does help to hear that I'm not crazy!

We do consider ourselves officailly engaged regardless of the ring, he asked- I said a loud and clear YES (because I'm crazy about him!) and the ring is just sort of the symbol that lets the world know

We are waiting to choose wedding bands until I have a new e-ring, just to make sure mine match well! But we think we have found the one, we just need to arrange to get it, as it is overseas (of course, nothing can be simple!)

Thanks Natasha! You are completely right of course, we put so much emphasis on these rings, and maybe not enough on the importance of the promise that we are actually making

I'll be sure to share a picture when we choose the one!

I think as long as it makes you both happy that is all that matters... it is a material item that yes has meaning behind it .. but if it ever got lost of stolen it would need to be replaced and would not be the original ... I think these days we get caught up in the material value of things ... you will always have your memories ( and possibly photos??) of your special enegagement ... Sure I would be upset if something happened to my ring or I had to chaneg it .. but I guess I look more at the meaning behind it and what is represents.... he asked and i said yes .. and with or without a ring or big ir small ring no one can ever take that from me !

If you both agree Melissa and it makes the two of you happy I say go for it , it will be on your finger forever so do what is going to make the both of you happy !! I cannot wait to see pictures !!

My MOH helped my FH as well! He had asked for her phone number just in case ! And yes! He called it!

Hey Melissa! I'm so glad you started this discussion!! I think it's so important to bring this up! I'm glad you were able to talk about it with your FH. I can't wait to see pictures of your before and after rings Did you already start shopping for your wedding bands?

Do you have a ohoto of the original ring?

My rings sterling silver and i picked it , however i have a friend who got one ring didn't like it, got another didn't like it (so she says) and so we went shopping and she bought herself on her boyfriends card a 2000 ring set.. Then it was all official they got engadged.. From what she told me she didn't like either of the rings he picked out.. Anyways as long as you're both happy that ie all that matters

Anytime!!!

I'm googling her now!

It will need to be a whole new piece (we talked to a jeweler, it is less practical to modify)...but the custom idea would be nice, we could design together too!

You're a star! Thanks Lisa!

Another thought would be to go to a custom jewellery designer and get them to add to your ring. Something that represents you. Doesn't have to be diamonds could be anything !!!! Check out Laura Tedesco in Hamilton , Ontario. Her pieces are amazing!!!

I will for sure !

Well why don't you try it then. I'm sure he'll love being included in the process . Maybe look at wedding rings too and ask him what style he likes....another thing you can do together . Let me know how you make out.

That is a really great idea! I did feel a bit sad losing the surprise element- you guys had a great plan, and it really does help

I want the feeling of looking at my ring and feeling our shared joy and excitement!

It has to be tough but at the end of the day your FH made an investment. And you really should love what you look at forever! What we did was, I picked 3 rings and then he picked his favourite out of the 3 without me knowing. Why don't you go to the jeweller , pick 3 you like, then have your FH go back and pick his favourite! You'll get an element of surprise all over again!!! Hope this helps! I stare at my ring thousands of times a day and I can see the smile on my FH's face because it makes him happy knowing I love it!

Very happy that worked out! It is such an unpleasant situation!

I sympathize... My FH got me the exact ring I had my eye on, but he told me it was between it and another one that was not my style at all and overpriced (in my opinion) to boot.
So glad I showed my MIL what I liked and that he listened to her, otherwise I would have had to exchange it.

Not yet- Perhaps part of FH's struggle was due to my fussiness. We do have our sights on one though, so maybe soon!

So does that mean you have a new ring to show off?!?!?!?

I might not have ever said anything, but he mentioned it first, and I felt a bit compelled to be honest. And it was hard- i appriciate FH wanting me to be happy, and that he has been quite wonderful in looking with me for another ring.

I think for a little we were both hurt- I didn't understand how it was so different, and how someone who knows me so well could have made that "mistake", and he was hurt because he didn't really understand how style mattered so much in a ring, and I know he put a lot of time into choosing the ring. He does deserve big points for chooing the pear shape- I like off-beat things like that!

Luckily we are both happy with the decision now.

You CRAZY! Kidding of course! It's an understandable struggle and must have been so hard telling FH about it. I totally agree with you, it would be heartless if you were like... this looks cheap, couldn't you afford to spend more on me?!? But it just truly not being your style is a whole other thing!

I'm glad your FH is on board too