"elopement" with celebration after? Have you done this, or attended one?

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Wow!! That sounds amazing! So far all of our family and most of our friends already know our plan, at first we were going to do this totally in secret but as time has gone on its gone on another way :p Mostly at first because since my fiancés family lives 2 provinces away they would need time to plan their trip out and I don't think most of them would be able to come up for an engagement party if they were thinking there was also going to be a wedding. Such a beautiful idea though!

The most romantic wedding ive been to to date was a surprise wedding after an elopement.
The couple sent out invites to their engagement party, and in the meantime went to Europe for the summer 'to visit the grooms family'. They arranged one pick up location for guests to be picked up on a limo-bus. Upon boarding the bus everyone was given a glass of champagne and a 'thank you card'. When we opened the card it said that they had been married on their trip and we were actually on our way to their reception! When we arrived she was in a wedding dress and he was in his suit. It was so beautiful that they kept it between the two of them for so long! AND (If you dont care about getting gifts) your guests will be so excited for you and over emotional with surprise that there will be no time or energy for judgement or disappointment over not being Invited to witness your vows, not being chosen as a bridesmaid, etc.

Its done to get married ina foreign country and to have a reception here with everyone you want to celebrate your wedding after.

View quoted message Yah! I really dont think any of my friends or family have any issues with my plan, they all seem very happy for me! Luckily we have supportive families too. It was more so when i started reading these forums that I started wondering!

Just tell people that you dont want to broadcast your wedding. You want it to be simple, romantic, an and just the 2 of you. You dont want to get married at home. You really dont need to explain yourself to people. If they understand, they're going to love the idea of a dinner with you two and a small celebration. If they don't understand, I dont think they need an invite

View quoted message Yah i guess so! I was so happy and excited with my plan! Until I realized how negative some people can be with their "rules" and way things should be!
Im super excited again! I also hope I am never the type to become so hard headed to not remwmber what the day is really about--- 2 people getting married! And to me, thats whichever way they choose

Most people are Old Fashioned, unfortunately and can’t see things our way. I don’t really understand rules either.

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I do get following eqituette to a degree but to be the amount of strict that some of these people are, just seems crazy to me. I believe above all you should just be happy!

YAY! and of course, if you dream of having your family there then a big wedding it is!! and it will be beautiful! Happy Planning

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Ugghhhh that's awful. now don't get me wrong. I have some strong opinions on weddings/etiquette. but being mean/harsh nope/no way. just no need for it.

we debated about eloping/destination. but my FH's dad doesn't fly AT ALL. and it was really important for me to have him there. so we said screw it. lets have the big wedding. and we are.

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Right?!? Seriously, I had no idea!!! Up until I got engaged I didn't realize there were so many rules and ways-things-should-be until I started reading some of these forums!! It actually at one point made me really sad and stressed out like omg, am I really being that rude?! Is this the right thing to do ?? (even though I totally know it is for me but these negative opinions really got to me!!)

Its so refreshing to read all these beautiful comments about the way I am planning my day/days. Thank you!!!

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Omg- yes people have said SUCH harsh things!! I didn't realize people had such hard fast opinions on how/what/ who a wedding should be!! Its kind of sad! Like... its supposed to be a happy day for the bride and groom, so it should be what they want, as long as they're married at the end of the day I say what the heck whatever makes you happy-makes me happy ! Like even using the word "reception" when you are eloping is a big NONO! haha I guess I am just not that uptight when it comes to those things. Thanks for your encouragement!!

Why do people have such big negative opinions on other people’s parties? Also to whoever commented about wanting cake and to eat it too- that’s literally the point of the cake. You don’t buy it to look pretty!

I say go for it! I think it’s a really fun way to celebrate with everyone. I do think you should wear your wedding dress (They’re pricey and getting to wear it twice instead of once? Heck yeah!) I also second whoever’s idea it was to have like a slideshow of pictures playing. I think people will love to see the trip! You do you, and have fun! And those other people sound very very stuck up so maybe don’t go back to that website!

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Your wedding day is going to be beautiful! I love that you guys are compromising, that's what the day is all about, you TWO! whatever works for you guys. That's a great idea too, to have the 15 minutes alone together because its true there will be SO much going on! I always admire people that can do-it-all! Happy planning!!!!

People have said that?!?!? what the hell!
I know lots of people that have eloped and come home and had a party. they just did a more low key party (like a backyard party). I would just have more casual invitations vs wedding ones.

and YESSSSSS wear your dress. if you want to. if I was having 2 events that I could wear my dress. heck yes I would.

at the end of the day. do what you want. and if people bring gifts that's their choice.

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I have always dreamed of the wedding day, all the traditions, etc... But I also took wedding planning during my Event Coordinator schooling, and am truly a Type A bridezilla with a sweet exterior, haha.

We have already compromised on a few things to make my fiance more comfortable: First look photos, so he can be emotional not in front of 100 people, Repeat-after-me vows, so he doesn't have to make a speech, etc...)

People even say to take 15 minutes after the ceremony alone, because it's the last moment of peace you'll have for the night... That is totally stressful! It would definitely be overwhelming for many people, and if it's going to make you not enjoy your big day, you're right to change your plans to what you want to do.

Jeez, if my fiance and I eloped, he may even do hand written personal vows...

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Thank you for your lovely response, so uplifting to hear positive comments! I honestly love attending weddings, I always cry and I do think if that's what the couple wants, its beautiful! But for myself, I have such high anxiety, to have it all packed in to one day (some people comment oh the ceremony can be so short its not a big deal to have it all at once) they don't take in account the ceremony, doing the vows in front of people, having photos taken, also relying on everything throughout the day to go perfectly. For me, I know I just wouldn't be able to enjoy the day, so I know this is right for me! It will be so nice to have the intimate day where we don't have to worry about all the "noise" to get married and do our vows. And then to have an evening celebration with our closest friends and family, i'm so excited!

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I'm loving all the positive responses! Such a breath of fresh air! A wedding is a once in a life time event and I totally believe you should do it the way YOU think is best. Your wedding with just your immediate family will be beautiful! So intimate, and everyone will have a great time at your bbq! Love that idea

I disagree with everyone who says this is a greedy or bad idea. You're right, weddings are personal, and whatever YOU decide to do is totally fine because it's YOUR wedding.

I think it's a really nice idea... Especially if you do a slideshow or presentation of some/most (if possible) your photos from the trip. I think it's a great excuse to get to wear your dress again too!

Let's be real, the ceremony is NOT what most of your friends come for... it's 20 minutes out of an 8 hour day/night. The celebration, the party... that's what people enjoy.

You could even have someone film your elopement ceremony if some people really want to see it (if you're comfortable with that).

People who put this idea down are probably jealous that they can't run away and have the best of both worlds, and they are taking it out on your for being bold enough to live out your dream.

We are changing our wedding plans, and going from a big wedding to an elopement style with just immediate family. My FH still wants to have a party a week after our wedding. I think it’s 100% fine to host a party for everyone after you get back. We are hosting a party Because we want to celebrate with all our friends and the people we love. It has absolutely nothing to do with gifts. We are just going to likely do a barbeque at our place. We will just tell people it’s a party. Then they won’t associate it with the wedding. Don’t let what other people think make you change your mind. You should do whatever you want to do. And if I had friends that Eloped and then invited me to a dinner when they got back, I would happily go join them and bring them a gift. I wouldn’t think they invited me just to get something

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Thanks!! That's what I figure, until I started reading some of these threads (mostly from another site) I didn't realize how strict people were about how someone should be married! I would be excited for anyone I love/care about no matter which way they got married and decided to celebrate!

I don't think there is anything wrong with having a post-reception. If you want your ceremony to be something intimate just between you and your FH and celebrate with family and friends afterwards, then that is exactly what you should do. I think your family and friends will be happy that you still want them to be included, even if they aren't at your ceremony.

Thank you for the supportive comments Clarrisa! Were you happy to be apart of the post wedding celebration ? Was it still very special?

I have been to one. We had a close family friend who did a destination wedding in Mexico. They lived away from most of their families. For the family and friends that couldn’t make it each of the parents hosted (along with the couple) a post wedding reception to celebrate in each of their hometowns.

i know everyone wants to share in the day and are excited but I’m completely on the side that if you want to make certain moments or parts of the day private (or the entire thing) it should be your choice as it’s your moments not anyone else’s.