Elopement or ceremony/reception?

View quoted message I reluctantly clicked to add this app as the whole wedding thing overwhelms my spouse and I. We became engaged about 3 years ago and we would like to elope. Quiet wedding as it is about us. Then thinking a gathering afterwards to share pics. Want it very low key. We know very little about weddings and coming into this community has been very helpful seeing the wide variety. Thanks for sharing.

We are doing both! We are having a legal ceremony at the lake I grew up on with 2 witnesses, and then a ceremony and reception in Mexico all our friends and family. My FH wants a destination wedding, and I had my heart set on getting married at the lake, under the cedar tress.

Hey! I was the same!!! ( except my fiancé loves attention on him) we were town between backyard wedding and elopement and we chose elopement, and of course that’s when everyone pipes in that they could help! It did make us second think for a minute because we have a lot of people who want to be there, but a backyward wedding even can be expensive still because you have to have a tent incase it rains ect.. if you wanted a small venue there’s a lot of hidden fees you have to ask about ( unless they have a full package which are usually a lot of money) we looked at one venue that was $500 but than if you served alcoholic it was this much and than you have to feed 75% of your guest which is this much ect ect

If you want to elope, ELOPE! It’s not only smarter money wise but this days suppose to be about you and the groom only! Weddings are such a show for everyone else really, make the day about what you guys want, family will understand and if they don’t, tough! Also all the money you save in elopement is great for a better honeymoon!

View quoted message Thanks Shauna! Really appreciate it Wedding planning is really my little escape from reality now

AWE thank you everyone who replied! I really appreciate it! I am glad I am not the only one that felt this way! We have finally come to the conclusion that we will be having a wedding and after talking to some family and friends, it is making us feel that the wedding is the best route for us. Some people are already helping us plan and find options for us, so the stress has significantly gone down!

Thank you so much for all your input and congrats to everyone

I wish you all the best! =)

View quoted message Hey Amy, just want to send you and your family some love. That is horrible. I don't know how you're able to handle it and deal with this wedding stuff. I'm sending you good vibes. And God bless you and your father and family. I hope you have an amazing wedding.

This is exactly how I'm feeling! I had a little panic attack on the weekend actually. There are so many perks to having a destination wedding, and that's what I was hoping for, but my FH and my mom really want to have a wedding here.

Give yourself time. It'll come to you. I advise enlisting the help of a friend who loves planning weddings, and they can help ease your anxiety over everything (and share the load).

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on your engagement!! Regarding your post I understand wanting to avoid the stress of planning . I've been engaged 4 weeks and just finalized a venue today and it was a little stressful BUT it feels amazing and worth it.
If money is the issue then careful planning is the key. I've been to a 12k wedding and a 50k wedding and the 12k wedding was more fun, better food , etc
Marriage is long and stepping into it with a party of whatever size you desire would be great BUT ultimately it's up to you abd your fiancé! Take more time abd think about it ! Keep us posted!

Girl, I was the same except WAY worse (sorry, I'm about to write a novel below). My FH and I always said we won't have a wedding because it's not worth the money and that we rather have a nicer honeymoon. So when he finally proposed, we were just going to do a fancy little dinner with our immediate family and then another with friends. My mom was not letting me off AT all, and at that point I was only engaged for not even a week and I was stressed and crying and didn't want to get married at all. Then my sister's said oh don't worry, you can have a small wedding, there are ways to save! Blablabla, I decided to have a wedding, started buying things online for DIY, and spent quit a couple hundred dollars on things I wouldn't have otherwise needed. Then my dad got hit by a car, I'm not even joking. That's a month after I got engaged. He had brain surgery, was in a coma for weeks, then had multiple infections, multiple times, while in the hospital. Our family was basically in terrible shape, so we had not discussed about wedding for a good 2-3 months. My mom approached me and said hey maybe you shouldn't have that wedding (I was going to get married in October 2017), since dad's in this situation. Following that, I kind of mentioned to her alternative ways to celebrate, but then she got mad that they were not more extravagant. So it REALLY REALLY made me feel extra shitty about everything.I really had to spend some time to think about it. At that point I spent quite a bit of money already, so if I don't have a wedding, it'd be all garbage. Inside my mom's heart she wished to see me get married in a more grand manner and my dad was improving at that point. Besides, I thought we really need something positive in the family after all that crap we went through. So I decided to have a wedding but push back the date to April 2018, so we have more time to plan and more time for dad to recover. My dad's left side of the body is paralyzed if anyone is wondering, and he's been out of the hospital for 3 months now. He probably can't walk me down the aisle, but hopefully we can arrange something.

O have a friend who wanted tovelope but they ended up doingg a wedding. It was super simple.. About 30 guests total (wedding party included) in her back yard. Just did a quick ceremony and had a bbq and it was one of the best weddings i have ever been to. super cheap and she got to have her closest friends and family there

We wanted to elope at first, as like you I don't like all the attention, but then we realised that it was important to us for family to be there. We found ways to keep the budget down and have had a little help from our families. We did some diy and enlisted some family friends as vendors. In the end it's personal preference. Good luck!

We first thought about getting married in a simple ceremony at city hall. But many of our friends and family wouldn't be able to take a weekday off of work to attend and city hall is not open on the weekend. We kept to a very small budget ($6,000) and spent most of the money on the food, venue, and music. Everything else was bargain basement prices and you'll see that I have posted many things that I made to save money and add a personal touch. If you are going to have a wedding, keep it small (immediate family and close friends), and find all the bargains you can.

Hey Amber,

Originally my fiancée and I were planning on eloping as well. We considered just the two of us, her parents and mine and her brother and his girlfriend. Both of us have many aunts and uncle who would be upset if they couldn't share in experience of our wedding. In the end we decided to not elope. Mainly because our thoughts were to elope then come back and throw a party for family and friends. Sounds like a good idea, right? Turns out venues are very expensive where we live and by the time you get the venue and catering and alcohol the bill is pretty steep.

In the end we've decided to have a smaller low-key wedding with approximately 80 guests to keep costs down and make it more intimate and meaningful.

If your fiancé's father is able to help out that can make a tremendous difference. I would advise not hoping on money from guests to cover all your expenses because that seems to me like a bit of a slippery slope. "Why don't we spend more on this? I'm sure we'll get enough from people to cover it."

There are many options for couples nowadays at all price ranges. It comes down to what you and your fiancé want. Eloping isn't always the cheapest route and if it's a matter of privacy and only wanting to share that moment with each other and no one else then do what makes you guys happy. Don't worry about pleasing everyone or worrying about if everyone is having a good time because it is very hard to please everyone. Do what you want and if people don't like it... too bad! :p

Wish you guys luck.

-Andrew