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Newbie April 2021 British Columbia

Elope in scotland

Melissa, on August 18, 2017 at 20:08 Posted in Before the wedding 0 7

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My fiancée and I have been engaged for a year and a half and have another 4 years to go.

A bit of background... My fiancée and I have been together for 6 years now and got together when we were 16 (and met when we were 7). He proposed to me on New Years 2016 (very unexpectedly) and we started planning our wedding. We were both in university at the time so it seemed like a good idea to wait until after school to get married. Now I'm done school and he is changing his school direction and will be done in 3 years.

I've never considered myself a super traditional girl and the idea of having a traditional wedding seemed very ridiculous to me, wearing the big white dress, inviting all the family, figuring out all of the details and spending all of that money on one day. My fiancée felt the same way but that's what our family wanted so that's what we went with.

Now we have a year off between him going back to school and are going to the UK for a month to visit some of his family and we thought about eloping. Just us and his grandparents and we would spend the rest of the trip on our honeymoon.

We were thinking about having renting out a hell and having a potluck reception when we got back.

The idea seems pretty perfect for what both of us wanted in getting married.

So I have a couple of questions, first should we elope? We will be going on the trip either way. Should we have a reception when we get back? And how should we tell everyone (My fiancée just wanted to wear his ring in front of everyone and wait until they notice)?

Thank you for any input you can give me.

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Kayla, on August 22, 2017 at 16:42

Devoted September 2017 Alberta
Kayla · On August 22, 2017 at 16:42
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Personally, I'd elope and then maybe have a small celebration with close friends and close family members.

During this wedding planning process, i've thought about it daily and wished i'd never planned this wedding.

But you have to choose what is right for you and your fiance!
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Newbie April 2021 British Columbia
Melissa · On August 22, 2017 at 02:05
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My cousin had a big wedding (we are very close and were raised together) and invited the whole family. All of the important members of the family on my side were not very interested in the whole process. Thank you though, I didn't think of it that way before
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Newbie April 2021 British Columbia
Melissa · On August 22, 2017 at 01:35
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Thanks for the advice Lynnie!
We live in our home town, so it's not such a big concern to host any of our guests.
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Newbie April 2021 British Columbia
Melissa · On August 22, 2017 at 01:29
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We were thinking about that as well but we'd like to keep the ceremony as private as possible and my immediate family is quite large (20 people give or take) and very close. Thank you though, definitely gives us something to think about
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Expert August 2018 Manitoba
Vanessa · On August 21, 2017 at 18:41
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It is totally what you want. My aunts 2nd marriage (her 1st husband is still her best friend but ended up gay and now is happily married with his partner) she had a small ceremony at her house in BC with the grooms side of the family and than came to Manitoba with her side of the family and had a celebration dinner. If you only have so much money and it takes so much time to plan a wedding do what makes you happy. You could have a small ceremony with your immediate family. Food for thought.
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WeddingWire Admin October 2016 North Carolina
Lynnie · On August 21, 2017 at 13:58
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Hi Melissa! Congrats and welcome to WeddingWire!!
This is really a personal decision that only you and your fiance can make What are both of your pros and cons to eloping? Is there anyone who wouldn't be there that you wish could be?
The reception and hosting guests is the most expensive part of a wedding, so if it were me I'd either elope and not host a post-wedding reception when we got back, or plan a full wedding and reception at home.
You can always announce your marriage through social media or by emailing or calling your friends and family!
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VIP September 2017 Ontario
Sonja · On August 18, 2017 at 20:46
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You have to do what feels right for both of you. But having said that, won't your family and close friends here feel cheated? I have only one daughter and I would have felt upset if she had eloped and totally left me out of the equation. Think about this carefully before you decided either way.
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