Disappointments..... devastated....

Hey Emilia, I'm so sorry to hear this. This is so unfortunate you have a great theme planned out! It would be fun if they could all participate. I'm so happy to hear you all designed the dresses together! Did you just get these news yesterday? Did you get any news from your friend since? I hope you'll be able to discuss it calmly with your friend to see what the issue was. Keep us posted! Did you also choose a maid of honour?

Try talking to them without bringing up the wedding. Maybe something happened and they are worried about stressing you out. Just be there as their friend and then talk to them in terms of the wedding in a few weeks. Tell them how important they are to you and what they would need to be able to stand with you. Even if they can't make it work, keep the wedding party as is (don't invite anyone else in their place)

So there's probably something else going on. It's a lame excuse they've given and you probably need to sit down with them to hash out whatever the issues are.
Maybe something going on in their lives, maybe you've unknowingly been acting like a Bridezilla, maybe they secretly hate your FH..who knows! But you definitely need to talk about it. But if you really want them with you I'd tell them to forget the dress and they can do what they want.

Unfortunately at this point I think you just need to decide if you want to persue the relationships or not. You can send a smiple message and just say "I am confused and hurt by this decision, please let me know if there is anything you would like to talk about..." or you can let it go. Then you can decide if you would like to invite these women to attend as guests, or simply not invite them to the wedding and quietly end the friendships. It sucks that this is happening, but it sounds like there is not much else for you to do, if you were aware of the budgets, everyone was comfortable with the style, and you have expressed interest in their lifes aside from your wedding.

I would still leave the bridal party uneven, but this is only my opinion.

I've asked and no answers.... so i really don't know.

We all designed the dress together and all agreed on it.... that's the thing....

99$ does seem quite reasonable for a dress, especially if everyone agreed- is there maybe another reason they are not mentioning? Have you tried asking how things are in their lives? Maybe there are some other pressures or stressors at play here?

It's crappy that they decided last minute it was too much when they previously agreed to it but....
Would you rather that exact dress or your friends in your wedding, sharing in your special day?
Are you so set in your ways that you're willing to let them drop out comoletely or let them wear something else they can afford!?!
It just seems like a really silly thing to lose a bridesmaid over and jeopardize your friendships

We can't change the dresses as they are in a hunting themed wedding and it is the lowest prices around... 99$ for the dress. They had all agreed that 99$ was a great price.

Yes it's hunting themed wedding so the dresses are camouflage and orange

I have and the dress is 99$ all included.

A friend of mine had her cousin drop out a few days before the wedding... She asked me to fill in but the dress didn't fit so she went with an uneven bridal party... I would have been happy to help her out if the dress had fit.

If the budgets are the issue would you be able to let them choose dresses in a certain colour, but with a flexible style so that each woman can stay in her budget? I think it is more important to try to salvage the friendships and show your friends that you really want them with you on your wedding day. Might you be able to find space in your budget to contribute to the cost of dresses to help? I think it depends on if you had discussed budget prior to choosing the dress they were asked to buy....did everyone agree at the time that the dress was reasonable?

Being a bridesmaid is expensive, and sometimes brides get caught up in wedding plans and might accidently neglect to consider their friends.

If there are other factors (maybe the budget isn't the only concern and they just aren't being upfront with you) I would just have an uneven bridal party. I agree with others that I would be hurt to be someone's "second choice" and only be asked to be a bridesmaid in order to make a picture look even.

I'm thinking maybe this was just the excuse they gave? Because I can't imagine forcing someone to drop out of a wedding over something as silly as a dress.....

Did you except them to get really specific dresses for the day or something? That seems like a bit of a cop out TBH. If they said something you could have told them to buy whatever dress was in their price point.

Did you ask all of your BMs for their budgets (individually) before choosing the dress? You shouldn't pick a dress that is outside of any of their price ranges. If you really want these woman, that were so important to you when you asked, to still be up there with you, then why don't you consider a less expensive dress?

I would be pretty hurt if my friend asked me to be in her wedding party and when I said I couldn't afford the dress she just replaced me instead of trying to find a less expensive option.... I would feel like I really matter to them all that much if I was so replacable in their eyes. It's wonderful you have such great friends, you should do them the courtesy of trying to re-adjust your budget to accomodate them and show them how important they are to you

They say they can't pay for their dresses..... I have great friends and I did ask one to be moh and she accepted with excitement....

What were the cirsumstances of them stepping down? Can you resolve things with them?

If no, absolutely do not "replace" them. It is very hurtful to the people you would ask next, and they would be rushed to even get the dress. Uneven sides are perfectly fine. I would just leave your wedding party as is and just continue as planned. I mean I have a MOH but she doesn't have any "jobs" to do. If you need someone for little things like being the alternative point person for the venue if they need to get a hold of someone, you could ask your mom or FMIL to help

I only have 1 other bridesmaid. We were suppose to be 3 on each side.

Hi Emilia,

That's so tough to hear! What was their reasoning for stepping down? Do you think they might change their minds and be able to make it? Unfortunately we had 3 of my husband's 4 groomsmen not be able to attend the wedding. We decided not to ask anyone else to fill the spots because it was more important to my husband that the people standing with him were his close friends than just having someone there. I had 5 bridesmaids so we ended up having two of my sisters stand on his side during the ceremony to symbolize the joining of our families.

You don't have to have even sides though! You can have the groomsmen walk themselves in and then the bridal party rather than having them in couples. Your photographer should be able to work with you to create some unique shots if you're worried about things looking uneven in photos.

It might be a little late to ask other people to be a bridesmaid or MOH. (And you would run the risk of them being offended that they weren't asked in the first place.) Would one of your other bridesmaids be able to step up and help with the MOH duties? I'm so sorry you're going through this and hope it works out!