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Top August 2017 Ontario

Criterias you believe that make living together work being a couple

Vinod, on April 16, 2019 at 12:26 Posted in Living together 0 5

We as individuals grow up to see how our parents act and behave towards each other. Part of knowing ourselves is to also live that life of knowing and asking what other family thought about when they moved in with their loved one.

As an adult, our choices are made on how we feel about the relationship building to be serious and taking that next step to live together as one or when we are engaged. How long did it take for you to know be ready and know that the time was right to move in your significant others home or in together away from home?

How did you also base your decision based on criteria within your boundary and yourself to take that step in your life? There are things that happen to us personally or physically based on trust. Talking about this topic does help to know you both are taking on more responsibilities and setting rules towards being a couple. What were some of things that you both discussed to make this happen making things work out.


Latest activity by Flora, on May 21, 2019 at 00:40
  • Flora
    Frequent user September 2021 British Columbia
    Flora ·
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    We were together for 3 year's before we moved in together. I have kids from a previous relationship and we took things slow because of this. We have been together for 9 years in August. Our choice to move in was based on my kid's mostly and for myself I wanted a stable job that I was able to contribute to the bills and such. My mom was always very independent and able to support us growing up. Not that my FH wouldn't take care of us but I wouldn't expect him too
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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    We moved in together for a variety of reasons, the big one being that he had to move out of his parents home, or he would be moving 2 hours away with them. I wouldn't say that we were not ready, but we could have been more prepared. Neither of us had ever lived on our own and it was definitely an adventure. Now, we've been living together nearly 6 years, together for over 9, and in our early 30s, and I feel like we have grown together to want/expect the same things.

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    For us, we dated long distance. We looked into moving into together and changing jobs as we wanted to see each other more. We realized we would rather have a permanent home then rent an apt. We knew once we bought the house we wanted to get married in the future and start a family. We are both very family oriented and made it clear from the start that family functions are import to both of us.

    Because we started long distance we talked about what we wanted and when we wanted it. We were very straight forward about kids, marriage and other life goals or intentions.

    We both had very crappy relationships in the past and because of this we were able to start fresh. He really helped me get past all the issues I had from the previous in the beginning and we gained a lot of trust with each other.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Well.... my FH is my first boyfriend and first love - I knew I wanted to marry him at less than 9 months into the relationship and I proposed at just less than 10 months in.

    I would say I agree with what Allison mentioned about the having similar life goals. With him being 29, he is wanting a family. This is not just a home, but kids and a wife to share life with. Me being 21, I want the same thing! And that is rare to find somebody my age with the same wants and in the same part of life as me (full time salary job and going to school part time in the evenings).

    We make up for what the other lacks. Example: He makes more money than me, but I know how to handle money better than him. He has no problem doing laundry, and I don't mind doing the folding part of it. I do dishes, he cleans the bathroom. We even each other out.

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I think having similar life goals (i.e. marriage, kids, etc.) definitely makes it easier to live together/start a life together, but a lot of it is the couples' willingness to make it work. Both parties need to put in the work to have a strong foundation in order to live together harmoniously.

    When it came to a specific ex, he didn't/couldn't put the effort into our relationship and he was not keen on marriage/kids, which I should've seen as a red flag at the time, plus he was hesitant to move in together in case I "disrupted his lifestyle". We fought quite a bit before finally breaking up, about fundamental trust/wants in life so in hindsight, it was pretty clear as to why it wasn't going to work.

    On the other hand, when I was talking to my FH about the possibility of moving in together, he was excited and couldn't wait for my lease to end. We also agreed about marriage and kids early on in the relationship and we both put 100% into the relationship every day.

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