Criterias you believe that make living together work being a couple

We were together for 3 year's before we moved in together. I have kids from a previous relationship and we took things slow because of this. We have been together for 9 years in August. Our choice to move in was based on my kid's mostly and for myself I wanted a stable job that I was able to contribute to the bills and such. My mom was always very independent and able to support us growing up. Not that my FH wouldn't take care of us but I wouldn't expect him too

We moved in together for a variety of reasons, the big one being that he had to move out of his parents home, or he would be moving 2 hours away with them. I wouldn't say that we were not ready, but we could have been more prepared. Neither of us had ever lived on our own and it was definitely an adventure. Now, we've been living together nearly 6 years, together for over 9, and in our early 30s, and I feel like we have grown together to want/expect the same things.

For us, we dated long distance. We looked into moving into together and changing jobs as we wanted to see each other more. We realized we would rather have a permanent home then rent an apt. We knew once we bought the house we wanted to get married in the future and start a family. We are both very family oriented and made it clear from the start that family functions are import to both of us.

Because we started long distance we talked about what we wanted and when we wanted it. We were very straight forward about kids, marriage and other life goals or intentions.

We both had very crappy relationships in the past and because of this we were able to start fresh. He really helped me get past all the issues I had from the previous in the beginning and we gained a lot of trust with each other.

Well.... my FH is my first boyfriend and first love - I knew I wanted to marry him at less than 9 months into the relationship and I proposed at just less than 10 months in.

I would say I agree with what Allison mentioned about the having similar life goals. With him being 29, he is wanting a family. This is not just a home, but kids and a wife to share life with. Me being 21, I want the same thing! And that is rare to find somebody my age with the same wants and in the same part of life as me (full time salary job and going to school part time in the evenings).

We make up for what the other lacks. Example: He makes more money than me, but I know how to handle money better than him. He has no problem doing laundry, and I don't mind doing the folding part of it. I do dishes, he cleans the bathroom. We even each other out.

I think having similar life goals (i.e. marriage, kids, etc.) definitely makes it easier to live together/start a life together, but a lot of it is the couples' willingness to make it work. Both parties need to put in the work to have a strong foundation in order to live together harmoniously.

When it came to a specific ex, he didn't/couldn't put the effort into our relationship and he was not keen on marriage/kids, which I should've seen as a red flag at the time, plus he was hesitant to move in together in case I "disrupted his lifestyle". We fought quite a bit before finally breaking up, about fundamental trust/wants in life so in hindsight, it was pretty clear as to why it wasn't going to work.

On the other hand, when I was talking to my FH about the possibility of moving in together, he was excited and couldn't wait for my lease to end. We also agreed about marriage and kids early on in the relationship and we both put 100% into the relationship every day.