Cocaine and the groom

You are doing the right thing by supporting your FH on his addiction to stop. At the same time, self care is the second importance to have him taking control of himself.

I wish you all the best and through the planning.

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I'm 58 and have been through this before. You're right, Kate.

This is a tough one and I do agree with Kate and Bethany. Both present great advice and I think getting the help and support first along with treatment for his addiction would be a good start. In the case, he refuses I would look at postponing the wedding as a result. Your kids together are important and Kate made a very valid point that you don't want his habits cause you to lose your children if he happens by caught by the authorities. I wish you all the best.

That's one of the hardest things is loving, but not enabling someone who's addicted. My fiancé doesn't have an addiction but I grew up in a home that had lots. As a family we went to AA a lot. Me and my sisters went as kids to support the family and I don't know how my sisters felt about it but I personally loved it, I was also the oldest. It's a means of support, not just for the addicts but for the family. If you don't want to involve your kids, and your hubby doesn't want to go get help, I would still suggest going to AA for yourself. Or if there's an NA around you. the AA in my town was accepting of all addictions and everyone affected by addiction. It was a safe and comforting place to be when you're dealing with addiction directly or indirectly. Support means so much at a time like this.
I'm personally oppositional, so I have a hard time taking advice. I also get offended easily. So I try to not "tell people what to do". I speak from my own experiences in saying that support from ppl who were going thru the same thing, hearing their stories, them understanding mine, made a huge difference in my mental state. Maybe reading about it will give that relief too if u don't want to be social. But for me, venting and being understood is what helps me.

I agree with Kate... Unless he is seeking treatment at this moment it would probably be better for you and your family to postpone the wedding and distance yourself from him... Who knows it might be the wake up call he needs.

As being 52 I have lived a lot of life. I would have told him No. not until he gets his crap together. you have two children to think about. A wedding should be the last thing you should be thinking about. getting your life and children's life safe and together. Getting Married will not change his habits. if he gets busted, you will lose your kids and everything you have. Sorry, no man is worth that kind of crap. you say you love and want to support him, what about your kids? they need a stable life. not hoping he will get his life in order. I don't mean to sound blunt and harsh. I just see you and your kids heading down a bad road.