Co-ed shower

I agree with Erin; it's best to communicate your preference as it's your wedding and you don't want them spending a lot of money on something you won't be happy with deep down.

There is nothing wrong with just being straightforward about what you want for your shower. Communicate with whomever is throwing the party and let them know what you guys would like. If they don't know what you want then you are likely to be disappointed.

I'd go to whomever is throwing your shower (MOH, sister, mother, best friend, etc.) and tell them what you're thinking. There's nothing wrong with being straightforward with what you'd like. If it weren't for my FH wanting to do a stag, we'd probably do a co-ed shower, too.

Make it an evening of fun and entertainment for the 2 of you and casual dress code. Bbq should be great to enjoy too for its outdoors feeling.

I'm probably doing something similar for my engagement party! We're skipping the bridal shower, because my extended family is in England and I have only a handful of friends so their really wouldn't be any point to it for me.

Maybe request an engagement party rather than a shower? Then it generalizes the crowd that would come and those are usually mich more laid back

If you want a combo I would for sure say have a combo! Call it a wedding shower and say it's for you both and you're solid! Not sure if you're into the stag/doe money raise thing? But if not everything is about you guys! Do exactly what you want!

So you want a Jack and Jill/Buck and Doe (Fundraisers/Co-Ed) for your shower?

I’ve gone to a couple and they were lovely.
It was mostly potluck and a couples game or two was played. You can’t go wrong when you have a backyard bbq.