Church or civil ceremony

What side are you wanting to support if its both your day?

One hand is to support your FHs decision and want to have an Officiant for the day. You love him enough to let him make the final choice.

Other hand is your mother wanting what she wants for you. I would question myself "Is she paying for the wedding"? (Apart than her choice of church).

If i were in your shoes, i would sit down and talk to him to see which is his preference leaning towards that direction.

Simiarly, my parents didn't put anything towards our wedding, yet felt we shouldn't kiss as its not ine indian tradition. I c hose not to accept his view as it would be something my husband wanted.

I had to ponder this situation for a while. I feel that it was terribly unfair to make your FH promise to be married in a church. This seems to be an issue of control. If neither of you are religious, and the groom's parents are not religious, then it seems that the only person putting so much emphasis on the church wedding is your mother. And if she is a truly religious person she would acknowledge that God is everywhere, not just in the church building. You could be married in the middle of the mall and God would still be there. I would encourage you to talk openly with your mother and come to an understanding. She may get her nose out of joint but in the end it will be you and your fiancé making the decisions (in all matters concerning your own lives).

We are getting married in a gazebo, on a Sunday, and Catholic priests don't preform marriages on Sunday. So I spoke to a priest and he told me we could get married by an officiant on our wedding day and then have a private ceremony on a different day in the church. We just need 2 witnesses with us, and the priest will preform the Catholic portion of the ceremony and register the marriage as Catholic. It will cost is more that way, because we have to pay the officiant and the church, but it's the best of both worlds for me. Could you do both? Would your mom be happy with that?

Tough call. On the one hand, staying true to yourself. On the other side, saving some $$ and making your family happy. I think a ceremony at the church, as long as you're ok with it, is totally fine and probably a good way to make people happy. And do what you want for the reception portion and make sure that represents you as a couple. If you're not sure, maybe ask for a copy of the vows and ceremony script so that you can see if you, as a couple, are truly happy and comfortable with it? I understand the catholic vows are fairly strict and you shouldn't have any trouble finding a copy.

We are not religious at all, neither are our parents although we have both been baptised... We opted for a church wedding due to costs... It was 350-450 for a civil officiant no venue and only 250 for minister including venue.

Thanks everyone for the advice! I agree civil wedding would allow us more freedom and can plan civil wedding to incorporate our own life values based on scriptures/poems we choose. However, talked to my FH about it and he said that getting married at church is symbolic because it is last goodbye to my old life of being forced to practice a religion my mom believed in., to make my mother happy. She never got married at a church and didnt do anything fancy so i Ihink she is trying to live through my wedding for what she would have wanted to do and believes does not consider marriage official unless it is done by the church.

We are doing a Church service, outside of the Church,

Hey Alexa

We are doing a civil service. My FH is catholic but its not important to him. I'm Anglican and i would have like a church but i know its not his thing plus i find tradiditonal religious ceremonies very structured and not tailored to the couple or personal. We opted for an officiant and we get to make the ceremony very "us" and i get to put in a few scriptures/reading that tie in the religious aspects.

In the end, tis your wedding and you both need to be happy with how the service goes and how its run. You need to feel comfortable and feel like it represents you

Hi Alexa!

I just read you in the community and wanted to say welcome!!

I agree with the other girls, at the end you have to do what makes you happy.

You can also take a look at this discussion and see what deals other brides were able to find:

Civil, religious or symbolic ceremony?

Civil or religious ceremony?

How is the rest of the planning going?

I agree with Jennifer, do what makes you both happy. If you're not particularly religious and would feel uncomfortable with a church wedding than do a civil ceremony. As long as you two are comfortable and happy, that's what matters.

Sounds the same protocol with our church we are looking at. We have to complete a marriage preparation course, certain readings , flowers girls need to walked with an adult if under school age , no petals/confetti and decorations for wedding only allowed to set up 30 mins before wedding. We are not very traditional people in our daily lives, my FH has a son and we have lived together for 3 years now but, I still want to respect my moms promise she made my FH make before proposing

We are getting married at a Catholic Church next year also in July. For our wedding we will have to attend a weekend Marriage preparation class. We will also have to pick certain readings so that the priest can incorporate it in his homily . Because me and my fiancée are both Catholic There will be a mass with the wedding . We are not very religious people but chose to have it at a Church anyways . They have a few guidelines we have to to follow like (only one processional song and has to worship God , also flower girls and such have to be school age , no loose petals on aisle etc . ) .Maybe wait till you meet with the priest and see what the guidelines for your parish are . And talk with your FH to see if you both are okay with it .

Do whatever will make you two happy! We chose a civil ceremony because we aren't religious even though his family is hardcore catholic. It's about the two of you. You want to be comfortable and enjoy every aspect of your wedding. Explain that to your family.