Changing Your Surname

View quoted message No it means you're taking his surname (using his surname in signatures and introductions, calling yourself Mrs X etc) but not changing it legally (your birth certificate still says your maiden name).

View quoted message When you say assume your spouse's last name does that mean hyphenating it?

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Thanks for responding! I'm glad I could bring another perspective

That was really my goal - to bring a non-traditional view on this point and get people thinking. Like I said, I'm all for everyone choosing what works for them! It's more of the societal expectation of women that bothers me

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Wow! I've never thought of it that way before! (THIS IS NOT AGAINST WHAT YOU SAID!)

Growing up and marrying into a religious family it was ALWAYS what we did. For my dad, he will be "giving me away" and he says that he feels like he's responsible for my protection ect. and at that point he gives the responsibility to my husband. (in our religion divorce is not an option, unless he is abusive or cheats on you). And that would be why I would assume my partners last name.

I just thought the way you said it was really interesting.

I am taking my finaces last name. It was super important to him and huis family and didnt matter to my family. Besides I like his last name better

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Oh darn....

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LOL, I don't think I can unless I pay to legally change it completely.

View quoted message You absolutely should become Princess Hank Banana Hammock 😂

My husband took my last name by choice and it was done after 3 months after receiving the marriage certificate. |t can be done only that way to know your presenting the document to ServiceOntario as proof. There is a charge to pay when your getting the certificate online.

Most of our family whom have gotten married have taken their husbands last name as done in the culture and some others choose to keep their surnames by choice. Hyphenating names is an alternative to do as you can have both if chosen to go in this direction.

View quoted message No problem!

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So I'm guessing if we go the assuming non-legal way, we have to change it to something that matches what's on the marriage certificate. I can't become Princess Hank Banana Hammock.

I will be hyphenating my last name. I have already established myself professionally and in my industry, my name carries a family legacy that I don’t want to lose and feel honoured to hold.

I’m taking my fiancé’s name and completely changing my name legally to his. My reasons are I like his last name better than mine. But also I would take his last name even if it was a ugly or funny name. It seemed to mean a lot to him that I’m taking it. Also I don’t feel like my last name is what defines me so I don’t need to keep it. Some people have different ties to their maiden names

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I totally get it. She's asked me about how I feel about her changing her name and it didn't matter to me whatsoever if she did or not. The only reason we're even considering it is because of potential issues where she travels alone with any children we may have, or if heaven forbid she was stopped by law enforcement for whatever reason while I'm not there. Apparently it could be a huge pain in the butt.

I wanted her mom to walk her down the aisle with her dad but considering she's so shy (she ran to hide in the bathroom during the parents speeches at my fiancee's brother's wedding), I doubt she'll agree to it

I like to tease my parents that we’ll be hyphenating our last names - I have a last name with 12 letters and my fiancé’s last name is 10 letters long. Probably not an option for us xD but it never fails to get a reaction haha

View quoted message Thanks for laying it out so clearly! It's a confusing subject!

We got married in October and everyone has assumed I'll take his surname. I'm honestly still on the fence about it all. I like my surname and if anything, I would just hyphenate. It would allow me to still carry on the family name...I will be the last one to have it.


I am a working professional, so that factors in too. And my husband doesn't care what I do....he's supportive either way 🙂

That said, if I hyphenate, then we'll be connected and any kids we are fortunate to have will be connected to both of us as well.
Tough decision! I appreciate reading everyone's thoughts on the issue!

I'm changing my last name. I have never been close to my father and having a last name that doesn't match anyone has always been annoying to me. Had my last name been my mothers maiden name I may have felt differently....

I will be taking my fiance's last name when we get married. It was the easiest decision for me. I love my maiden name, but I'm excited for the next chapter of my life!

I changed mine. I love the idea of being one.


So, there are two ways to change your last name. 1. Legal name change (less popular option).2. Assuming your spouses last name (more popular.
So, a legal name change involves the federal government. You have to make an application, and forfeit your birth certificate. So, for woman changing their last name you would lose all rights and entitlements to your maiden name. Your birth certificate would change to your spouses last name. It would be as if you were born with your spouses last name rather than your maiden name. Like I said, this is not a popular choice.
Assuming your spouses last name is very easy. You can assume it immediately. Your birth certificate remains the same. You order your marriage certificate online and then you can then change things like your drivers licence, health card, documents, etc etc. If your passport has not yet expired, don’t bother changing it. You can fly with your maiden name as long as your plane ticket are booked in your maiden name.
I am an officiant, and I work for a municipality in Ontario. These are facts.

I will be using my marriage certificate to change my last name on my ID once we are married. I think you can pay to legally change your last name on your birth certificate also but I'm not going that far. Just license and passport ect, which you just need the marriage certificate for.

I am absolutely taking my Fiance's last name. Its actually one of the things im really excited about. I love my name now but its exciting for me to have that change! Also I cant wait to have the same last name as our daughter as we gave her his last name.

I’m going to transfer mine over once the paperwork comes in. I’ve switched it with the unofficial things like social media but still need the license before I can change my ID, then everything else.
I was ok taking my wife’s name because I had no particular attachment to my own. I did also want us to share a name so it’s one more thing that points to the fact that we’re married rather than lots of people’s assumptions that we’re friends.

My partner and I are both keeping our own names. For me, it just doesn't make sense for me to change my name, nor do I have any desire to change it. I don't have any intense sentimental attachment to my name, but I do like my name more than my partner's. He also has no desire to change his name, likes his name more than mine, and has attachment to it for family reasons.

I'm going to get a bit deeper into my reasoning and it might come across as controversial but I think it needs to be normalized so I'm going to say it (warning - it's a bit of a rant lol). Please just know that for any people that do want to change their names, I fully support your decision to do so and this isn't meant as an attack or to be offensive. I think that anyone who wants to change their name should be able to do so, but I just wish there wasn't this expectation that women change their last name in a heterosexual marriage.

Essentially I think the "tradition" behind the woman taking a man's last name is sexist, heteronormative and outdated. I put it in the same category as a bride's father "giving her away". I'm really just not traditional in any way and didn't want any of the classic symbols of being my father or partner's property part of our wedding or marriage.

That being said, I totally understand when someone wants to change their name because they don't like their last name and prefer their partner's name or they want everyone in their family to have the same last name (whether that involves children or not). Logistically I can see why it makes sense in certain situations. I'm also all for men taking their wive's last names, couples in same sex marriages choosing one last name, or couples being creative and coming up with some sort of a mashup - I think all of these are great alternatives and sort of keep the traditional aspect that people seem to like while booting the patriarchy out of it!

I think society has become much more accepting of women keeping their last names in the last several decades, but since getting married this weekend I've already been called Mrs. "partner's last name" a couple times in congratulatory messages and been asked by many people whether I'm keeping my last name. I'm dreading receiving the inevitable cards and gifts addressed to Mr. and Mrs. "partner's last name". Unsurprisingly, my partner hasn't been asked once whether he will keep his name or been mistakenly called Mr. "my last name". I'm being a bit dramatic, but if this wasn't such a double standard I don't think I'd have such an intense reaction.

Rant over!

I’m really torn on this one so curious to read everyone’s thoughts! I am partial to my last name, very close with my family, and on the fence about the tradition given it comes from a history of “transferring ownership” - even though I know it doesn’t represent that now! I also have two passports/citizenships so it might be more complicated for me.


I know my fiancé would like me to change my last name, though he’d never force me of course. And I do like the idea of future children having the same last name as both parents for a sense of unity.