Changing your last name

Thanks for the idea - It is such a hard choice. I love my FH and would love the share his name. But yeah - am in my 30's too and my name is me and professionally it is what ppl know me as.

I was conflicted for almost my entire engagement, I wrestled with is it CONSTANTLY! I resented the idea of changing my name, I've had my name for 30 years (almost) and it's bullshit that there is so much pressure to just up and change it (from society, not FH). I finally decided just a few weeks ago to do a "double barrel" last name. So I will add his name onto the end of mine but no hyphen (just a space), that way I can easily go by my maiden, married or both as I choose. I also took this little quiz at
http://www.marriednamegame.com/home.aspx and I found it helped me make my decision. Really take your time and don't feel rushed! You have up to 60 days after your wedding to file the paperwork for free to change it.

Growing up I always thought I would change my name... because why not? Now that we have been married for 4 months I am still struggling on whether or not to change it! I like my name! My husband has told me that he doesn't care, but I would like to have the same name as my eventual kids.. hum.. still deciding!

I don't mind my FH last name but he never pressured me to take his name. For him it really doesn't matter. I haven't decided yet what I'm doing because I do like my family name and would be sad to loose it another thing is changing my name in all documents in two countries would be a lot of work, so I'm still deciding what to do.

But I feel, in your case, if you don't want to take his name, it shouldn't be big deal. He should understand you and be open to your opinion. Maybe you both can compromise a little somehow.

My whole life I knew that I was never going to change my last name and if I was with someone who would have pressured me to do it, it would have been a deal breaker for me. I look at it as this is my identity so why should I change it just because I got married? A chair is a chair no matter what so a Sam is always a Sam! My background is anthropology so I think it's ridiculous that men carry on the "family" name since lineages are traced maternally, not paternally, through mitochondrial DNA. It's "tradition" for women to take the man's name but traditions had to start somewhere so you can make a new tradition! I think it's totally up to you if you want to change your name and it drives me crazy that in this day and age people still assume that you're automatically changing your name! Ask! Don't assume!

For me it was an easy decision. I want to change my name to my FH's last name. My parents had me at a young age and so I legally have my mom's last name but I am not so close with my mom and now her last name is my step-dads last name and I can't stand him. So for me it is like a fresh start.