Ceremony Guests - Couples

I would tell them the room physically only holds 30 people and i cant bring more. hopefully they will understand its not like youre purposely excluding their bfs

Hi Kendra, this does seem like a sticky situation and 30 people adds up fast. I think you have to think how you would feel if you were invited to a wedding ceremony but were told that you had to leave your partner behind but they could join you later. If you don't think it would bother you then invite your girlfriend's to the ceremony. I agree with the others that if might just be best if you only had your family at the ceremony.

The city hall ceremony can be family mainly as it is the most important part of them being there. Friends and couples can attend after for dinner when you plan to eat. This way it becomes easier for them to bring their SO and not have any issues. Its a tough call to make separating your friends from their other halves feeling on the side than being there for you.

I'm sure it sucks for them and it's not like their S/O's will have anything to do during that time as they will probably drop off their partner and then just wait - but at the same time I would completely understand if I had to drop off my DH and accompany him later. 30 is not that many - and I'm sure they will still come, it just sucks that it's a little awkward timeline wise for them.

I know it sucks to not have your best friends right you but I think I’m the long run it will save you a lot of stress if you make the ceremony family only. But if they truly respect your and you wedding plans I feel like they shouldn’t be offended if their SOs can’t come. It may be hard for any of your friends who might have kids ( leaving kids while they attend the ceremony) or if they are out of town and need to drive together but then one of them has to wait somewhere until the reception.

I feel you, I also can only have 30 people and it’s difficult. You could just invite them afterwards but if you want them there, I would fully explain that there is a restriction at city hall and that you can’t bring SOs until the reception. Honestly, that’s not an unreasonable request since it is for a valid reason. People get offended about wedding stuff for many reasons (often that we can’t control) and door their true colours as friends.

One option is to have only family for the legal ceremony and have a symbolic ceremony at the reception where everyone can see it. You can have a friend or loved on "officiate" the symbolic ceremony and basically just exchange vows for the people who missed the legal ceremony.


30 people does fill up quickly, and city hall is not likely to budge on that number and let extras in. To be fair I would only invite family so that none of your friends or their spouses are hurt. Family is so much easier to define and people can't get mad that they aren't related to you like they can if you hand select a few friends.