Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

N
Newbie November 2019 Ontario

Can I cancel my bridal shower?

Nancy, on September 6, 2019 at 22:04 Posted in Before the wedding 0 9
Saved
Reply

My bridal shower is just 3 weeks away and the invitations have been sent to everyone.

My main MOH is going through a tough time right now (she just found out her mom has tumours and is waiting on the results of whether they are cancerous), she's mainly been raised by her mom so this is priority right now - which it should be. I never bothered to ask any questions related to the shower to her as she has been MIA for the past weeks and I understand why so just giving her space and told her not to worry about the shower. My other MOH is pregnant and going through early stages of pregnancy so she has appointments booked up left right and center, plus she lives almost 2 hours away and it's been difficult to coordinate anything for the shower with her. That said, the rest of bridesmaids could care less (from what i see is happening), I feel i've had to push people to participate and it really sucks. To the point where anything that has been planned so far is all done by me. I've booked a party room, and booked decor (all cost around $300). Honestly, I feel extremely dumb to be doing all this planning and hosting the shower (which I never thought I'd end up doing since my main MOH was initially going to coordinate everything). I wouldn't mind canceling the shower at this point, it's going to be a bit embarrassing knowing half the people that are invited are the groom's side of the family/cousins who were really looking forward to coming- so they're all going to be wondering wth happened.

I really don't know what to do....


9 Comments

Latest activity by Bianca, on September 17, 2019 at 01:12
  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    View quoted message

    I like this response! Tough love on your bridesmaids.

    • Reply
  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    My cousins all planned their own showers and the wedding party just went early to set up on the day of. look at it this place plan the shower the way YOU want it. maybe the other bridesmaids dont want to overstep and they see you planning it so theyre like ok she doesnt want us to helpp. ask them to do specific tasks if theyre not busy!! but there is NOTHING wrong with planning your own shower. i plan to plan my own!

    • Reply
  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    I'm glad it has worked out for you.
    • Reply
  • N
    Newbie November 2019 Ontario
    Nancy ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    Thank you all for your helpful suggestions!! I won't be cancelling.

    Fortunately, the main MOH is wanting to get things started and she's chatting with the other MOH, so hopefully something will be planned, even if it's small.

    My mom will be 100% helping out as well.


    • Reply
  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    First thing that I would do is talk to the first MOH. I get that this is extremely emotional and everything with her Mom - but this might be a good way to not think about it and also... it's not like she can change the result of the tests by not helping with the shower.

    As for the other girls - they should have a group chat with just them to plan not only this but the bachelorette. They said yes to being in the party so now is their time to shine!!! If they aren't willing to help out then they shouldn't have been asked to be in the party to begin with.

    If all of the girls can't find it in them to help make this happen - that's where Mom's come in. As far as I'm aware the Mom's are the ones who are supposed to throw bridal showers anyway - not BM's. Not sure the situations with your Mom or FMIL or any step Moms/FMIL, but they should be helping out as well.

    I say don't cancel! The shower really isn't that hard to plan compared to a social or a wedding!!! You've still got time to turn this around!

    • Reply
  • Katelyn
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Katelyn ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    I completely agree. You may end up regretting canceling. And I think it's a much needed distraction for everyone. And talking to your MOH about how she feels about the situation is a great idea. Very well said.
    • Reply
  • A
    Newbie October 2019 Ontario
    Anna ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    What about asking your main MOH what she feels like doing?

    It may be a relief for her if you bring it up and ask if it's best to cancel. I'm sure she's worried about her mom and she may also feel like she's letting you down. I'm sure most people would understand if you cancelled, and if they don't...well, there's not much you can do about that, but it's probably better to do what's right instead of trying to avoid upsetting anyone at all (a difficult task around wedding-related things, I'm finding Smiley xd ).

    On the other hand, your bridal shower might be a needed distraction for your MOH. It can be scary when a family member is going through a medical problem, and sometimes something else to focus on can give one's mind a break from worrying. And a happy event such as your shower may be a little uplifting for her. But only she will be able to tell you how she feels about this...just speculating here.

    Perhaps an auntie or someone on the groom's side who was looking forward to coming could be trusted to understand the situation with your MOH and take over the planning of the bridal shower? It may be simpler to cancel, but you may also wish you didn't later. My family just finished with my sister's wedding, and I am getting married in 5 weeks - my sister's shower is something I'll always remember as a fun family get together, and I'm hoping mine will be the same.

    • Reply
  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    I agree with Casey. I wouldn’t cancel the bridal shower, I’d tell your bridesmaids to get in gear. That’s the whole point of a bridal party - to help you.

    worst comes to worst, do you have any friends or family that could help you out? I agree with Casey in trying to get help from other sources if your bridesmaids don’t get moving
    • Reply
  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    Honestly, tell your bridesmaids they need to get together and make this happen to support your MOHs! That’s part of being in a bridal party.
    It really sucks that the planning has fallen on you. Do you have any family members that could help out?
    I don’t think I would cancel it. I would just show up and enjoy the time with your family members.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

6 Summer Bridal Makeup Products Every Bride Needs
Beauty Tips 6 Summer Bridal Makeup Products Every Bride Needs Are you hosting your wedding in the warmer months? Well, there are a few summer...
Read more articles

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire Article Topics