Bridesmaids pulling out

I agree with everyone, she did the hard work for you. And honestly, screw her for being a negative, ungrateful person. Being a bridesmaid isn't a ton of work, and it's an honour to be asked. She sounds like a rotten person, you're well rid of her.

The way she said it was rude. But be glad she said it. And I’d just throw away the whole friendship entirely.

But im petty so I’m biased. If you can blatantly look at me and tell me you’re not a good enough friend to be in my wedding party you’re not a good enough friend to be invited. You don’t get a “I don’t want to contribute money and actually do stuff but definitely invite me to eat your food for free” option. Girl bye.

Its great that she cut herself though. Now you don’t need any negativity. And the reason I say that is because I have some new friends in my life that I’ve only recently became cool with, but I hope our friendship grows. And if they were to ask me I’d be a little shocked but still honoured that they feel the same away about furthering our friendship. She doesn’t seem like she wants that by saying what she said. Just my opinion.

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Pride is sometimes such a pain! hahahha

but honestly. be glad they gave you a lot of notice. and were honest with you. at the end of the day. and you know what. its ok that they don't want to be. you will find someone else. or not. and you may have other friends/family willing to step up and help in ways you need them to

and seriously...like Tori said. HAVE A DRINK! hahaha or two!

View quoted message I'm so sorry your BM is being super dodgy. You're right though, I've made peace with it and thanks to everyones encouraging responses I do feel better about it. I honestly regretted asking her as well. I think it was the fact that I wanted to tell her I didn't want her to be a BM not the other way around. More of a pride issue I suppose lol.

I’m sorry you’re going through this and I can imagine how crappy it must feel. I want to play devil’s advocate here though because I’ve had BM commit to their role and now, I can’t get a hold of one of them. Frankly, I’m regretting asking her.

imagine if you’re potential BM had said yes and then weren’t able to fulfill their duties. I think that would hurt me more. I’m in a position where one of my girls isn’t answering my calls or texts for weeks at a time. It took me 3 months to confirm whether or not she received my bridesmaid proposal gift. I was concerned for her and hoped everything was OK with her and in her life bc we hadn’t spoke. When she finally responded she said “LOL sorry yes, I’m just busy!” We all get busy, I get it. But months to respond isn’t OK either. It’s not even about her role as a BM but how she treats me as a friend.

’m regretting asking her. If she doesn’t have time to connect or chat with me, I don’t think it’s a priority. Frankly, I wish she would have just been honest and said she didn’t have the time. I offered her an out, told her ‘the most important thing is for her to have fun and celebrate alongside me at the wedding. I know how much of a time and Finanical commitment being a BM is so if she’d prefer to come as a guest, I’d be honoured to have her”

Two and half weeks later, I got a response saying, “OF COURSE she wants to be a BM” So Id rather be in your boat than have someone who isn’t showing she cares.

Regardless, I hope you can move past it and enjoy the wedding planning process.

It sucks this has happened to you, but I would rather be told in well in advance than close to the wedding! She was honest about her feelings and didn't try to make excuses which is good. Glad your photographer stepped up for you though!

At least they told you now instead of later. It's shitty and I totally went through something similar when I was deciding if I wanted bridesmaids or not (I decided against them for various reasons).

Just focus on the good and your upcoming wedding

View quoted message Haha reading these comments really brightened my day! I appreciate your sentament Stephanie. My Photographer actually stepped up to replace her lol I didn't initially ask her because she already was hired for the wedding, but she volunteered that she can do it so now we're treating her as a bridesmaid so when/if she feels like she wants to take that on she's in the loop and fully informed.

View quoted message I don't want to end the relationship, I just didn't expect it is all so I was a little hurt and sad at the sedden change of heart. She was present at all of the FB discussions so it seemed almost out of place which is why I was upset.

Get to drinking and make new friends at a bar? lol Sorry, I try to make things lighter

Realistically I would call on some cousins if you have some and ask if they would be in your wedding party. It's not ideal but it could work out that you get closer than you already are with them.

At least you know now.. and honestly, it took a lot of courage for her to be honest with you so try and keep that in mind. People forget how expensive and time consuming it can be to be a bridesmaid. I've done it twice and it was exhausting.. yes fun.. and very expensive. I would have to decline depending on the relationship at this stage in my life. Hopefully you can both look past this and still be friends.

I agree with Stephanie. She also let you know quite a bit in advance, which is better than hearing about it a couple months before the wedding! Of course it is not fun to deal with regardless of when/how they tell you, but this is all about you guys and your day, and that is ultimately the most important thing!

Dont worry about it! It's actually really good they were upfront to you about it instead of trying to suck it up and push through and causing any other issues down the road! It sucks but hey! It's most about you and your FH! You want to share this day with people who WANT to share it with you! If someone is going to be a downer in any way it's better they're off the bridal party!