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Newbie September 2019 Ontario

Bridesmaids not participating

Amanda, on February 7, 2019 at 18:39 Posted in Before the wedding 0 5

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So i have a bridesmaid in my wedding and we havent been friends long but weve gotten close enough within the time we have known each other so i asked her to be in my wedding!

Now i feel as though getting her to attend things and participate is like pulling teeth! She couldnt go dress shopping with me, made a big deal about the bridesmaid dresses and now its been in for a month and she hasnt gone to pick it up! Shes getting married a year after me and im in her wedding but i feel if we talk about her wedding shes all peppy and if its about mine she could care less! Ive planned a get together for all our wedding party to meet but she planned a trip out of the country and couldnt go but now that the trip is cancelled she still cant attend?!

Im just overly frustrated at this point and dont know what to do! Her partner is also in our wedding as we needed an extra person on FH side and they were really close and then drifted and are just starting to get close now that her and I are friends so do i kick them both?! Do i talk to her?! How?!

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Hayley, on February 11, 2019 at 01:07

Curious October 2020 Ontario
Hayley · On February 11, 2019 at 01:07
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I had a similar issue except she didn't have a significant other in the party but she was my FH's cousin(also she isn't getting married, just the pulling teeth to come to anything). I laid it all out nicely and gave her the option of backing out, which she did
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Master October 2019 Ontario
Allison · On February 8, 2019 at 13:47
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That is frustrating but I agree with the others and have an honest conversation with her. Let her know that it hurts that she’s showing no interest in your wedding.

he might feel awkward about her FH and your FH drifting apart and unsure if she should stay in the wedding party. Perhaps giving her an out might push her to make a decision either way.
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Top October 2019 Manitoba
Tori · On February 8, 2019 at 09:23
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Well that's straight up rude? Is there another reason that she can't attend now that the trip is cancelled? Did you ask?
I mean, like Robyn said - lay it out for her. Mention to her how you feel! When I didn't appreciate one of my friends always bringing her boyfriend everywhere we went without even the simplest heads up, I mentioned it to her. She had no clue that it was annoying! I know they say it's boys that can't read a girls mind - but some girls can't either!
Whatever the response you do get, just make sure you leave the conversation at 100% and no worries. If you have any, then the conversation didn't resolve it and you may just need to ask that she steps down.
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VIP April 2019 British Columbia
Leah · On February 7, 2019 at 19:12
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This is always a tough situation.

Definitely talk to her without making it a big thing and just let her k kw that if she and her FH are too busy, then you’d be fine with them backing out.
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Super June 2019 Ontario
Robyn · On February 7, 2019 at 19:00
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Oof. Honest opinion? Lay it all out (gently, I guess), tell her how you feel, ask her if she still wants to be in the party. If things don't change, you can either ignore it and hope she shows up on the day, or kick her out (I favour option 2)
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