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Newbie July 2020 Ontario

Bridesmaids Help!

Hannah, on September 5, 2019 at 12:22 Posted in Before the wedding 0 12

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Hello fellow brides!

Our wedding is next summer and we are deciding on our wedding party. I have 5 extremely close girlfriends that I consider family. I've known each for over 15 years but I also have two older sisters. I know I want the 5 girlfriends without a doubt but I think having more than 5 people in the bridal party is just too many. My one sister is limited in her abilities and has shared with my mom that she would not be offended and would be understanding if she was not included in the bridal party, I was glad to hear that as it took some stress off. As for my other sister, I was a bridesmaid in her wedding last year. I am just mindful that if I do not ask her she will be upset and I truly do not want to hurt her feelings. She's not someone I talk to every week but would do anything for me. I was thinking of asking her to be our MC and still have both my sisters say a speech together at the wedding (just because I want them to feel included but is that odd if I they aren't part of the bridal party?). I guess I am just stuck, I have been toying with this for about 3 months, my fiance thinks I'm just avoiding conflict by not talking to my sisters about it, maybe I am! But I have my mother talking in my ear that would be very odd not to have family in my bridal party while I keep thinking 6 is just one to many in the bridal party - any thoughts or comments are welcome in hopes it can help my decision making! Thank you

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12 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on September 12, 2019 at 15:08

VIP August 2020 Ontario
Ashley · On September 12, 2019 at 15:08
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At the end of the day its YOUR choice and no one elses. i have a sister and i am not putting her in my wedding party at all, she will not be the MC or anything associated to my wedding other than attending as a guest. i picked all my close gfs that i talk too pretty much daily and have been for YEARS. my thing is just because someone has a title of sister/brother/mother etc does not make them automatically have a place in my wedding. titles do not give priority over my bffs who would bend over backwards for me. if you only want to have 5 have 5 dont let other people pressure you. give your sisters other jobs they can mc your wedding together or give speeches or help set up. theres so many other things they can do to be apart of your big day!
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Top August 2017 Ontario
Vinod · On September 5, 2019 at 19:28
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This day is how you feel you want to make it happen and whom you choose to be part of the bridal/wedding party. There isn't any right or wrong in having siblings included. You know how many you want and ask them the way you want. Don't hold back because of your sisters reactions. They will understand and be supportive towards your decision.
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Master June 2022 Ontario
Rayanne · On September 5, 2019 at 19:21
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It's your wedding and you need to do what will work best for you. If you are having a large wedding I don't think 6 people in wedding party is too much. If you are having 35 guests then it would look strange to have 6 BM's. If you are having 200 guests then I dont think it is too much. Talk to your sister and listen to what you want. Good luck
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Master October 2019 Ontario
Casey · On September 5, 2019 at 14:52
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I agree with Caitlyn that you should choose people you really want to have stand beside you on that day. It is your day and you need to do what you want. Everyone will always give their opinions, but at the end of the day it is about you and your FH!
With that being said, I get where you are coming from on not wanting to hurt peoples feelings. I was in the same situation picking my bridesmaids. We ended up going with all siblings (My sister is my MOH, and 3 sister in laws are my Bridesmaids). Now I do have 2 step sisters who I am not close with at all, but when I started telling family we were doing our siblings I started getting comments that they weren't included. But it is my day, and it is about me.
Thats what you need to keep in mind. Having your sister be an MC, do a reading at a ceremony, or even have her say a speech at the reception are all ways that you can include her without having her as an "official" bridesmaid
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Newbie July 2020 Ontario
Hannah · On September 5, 2019 at 14:14
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Yes you're right, I just need to bite the bullet and have a discussion with her especially over some wine! haha thank you
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Newbie July 2020 Ontario
Hannah · On September 5, 2019 at 14:10
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Thank you Caitlyn, that was actually very helpful!
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Top October 2019 Manitoba
Tori · On September 5, 2019 at 13:41
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I mean, I have 5 in mine - and adding one more for me (if I had another friend or sister) wouldn't make it too big IMO. In fact I almost had to add one more because me FH was going to have 6 men on his side! Glad he decided against one though
At the end of the day you really do need to have a wine night with your Sisters and explain what you are feeling - maybe they have a suggestion? I do like the idea of your Sister as the MC though!
Maybe since there is time one of them could even register and get licensed as an officiant for you? Or perhaps one of them could sign your marriage license instead of your MOH as a witness?
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Master October 2019 Ontario
Allison · On September 5, 2019 at 13:23
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You definitely don't need to have your sister if you don't want to! I agree that 5 is a good size, anything more is too many IMO.
I would definitely ask if she would MC or give a reading at the ceremony. You could also have her get ready with everyone but not be involved as a bridesmaid.
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Super October 2019 Ontario
Katelyn · On September 5, 2019 at 13:09
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No worries. I try to save others the headache I have gone through. Particularly with the groomsmen. My FH didn't think of who would be helpful just who he loved. And none of the groomsmen except his brother have been any help really. Also all of them are out of town so that's not great.
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Super January 2020 Ontario
Caitlyn · On September 5, 2019 at 13:02
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I always think with wedding parties you should choose the people you really want in the wedding party, not who you feel like you have to have in your party or who others want you to choose.
I don't think it's odd to not have family in your wedding party. My fiance has an all friend wedding party and though I have my cousin in mine I included her because I genuinely wanted her in my wedding party, not because she is family. Both my fiance and I have a sibling and neither sibling is in the wedding party.
I like the idea of you having your five girlfriends in your bridal party and having your sister as the MC. Being the MC is still and honour and a very special job.
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Newbie July 2020 Ontario
Hannah · On September 5, 2019 at 12:40
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Thank you Katelyn! I appreciate that, well said.
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Super October 2019 Ontario
Katelyn · On September 5, 2019 at 12:38
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I don't have any family in my bridal party. Honestly you need capable people not people you're close to necessarily. If you ask people just because you love them and not because they are going to be helpful in the process you don't need them. If everyone is helpful and wont cause you more stress then don't worry about it. Talk to your sister and just tell her 6 is too many people but you still want her involved. If anyone makes a stink, you didn't want them in your party anyways. Bridal party is supposed to help not stress you.
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