Bridesmaids bailed?

View quoted message Honestly I was asked last minute to be a bridesmaid to a friend's wedding. A friend of her hubby's got all offended last minute because he wasn't a groomsmen, so they added him, then she asked me (we were co-workers & had just gotten close). It was also because me & the MOH were close in size & I was able to take her dress & she wore her grad dress (super similar). I wasn't offended that it was a last minute ask, I was happy to help where I could. If your cousin has already confirmed she's going, I would talk with her, ask her how she feels, if she's comfortable. If she's not comfortable, don't put pressure on her.

Thats hard cuz destination weddings are super expensive.... honestly i would probably skip a wedding party at this point.

From a guests POV, I agree with Natasha about "the show must go on" - and it's not like most of the pictures you are going to have are of the wedding party since you will most likely end up loving the one of just you and your FH.. But as a past Bride.... ya, I would say that if you have the dresses or can get them in something similar then it doesn't hurt to ask. If I was asked last minute due to something like this I would be the first to say yes, of course. I don't care if I was asked second, it takes guts to ask somebody to step in like that and I understand that you want numbers to match up.

As a side thing though... she just isn't responding?? Not the best to hear about a Maid of Honour... maybe she just doesn't want to be a charity case? Either way she should be responding though and not just leaving you high and dry like this.

I think this is a “the show must go on” type deal. Rather than ask your FHs cousin ( that opens up her needing to find a dress and all sorts of other stuff) just have your current bm your sister in law stand by you and ask you FH if during the ceremony only his best man stands and the rest of the groomsmen sit in the front row. Later they can take bigger group photos so your FH has those memories with his groomsmen. I think asking new people to step in late minute always causes problems like his cousin may bail because now it’s too much commitment or money. If MOH comes she comes and if not ... you have to decided if she eventually reaches out and speaks to you how you want to respond. Do you avoid the conflict and let it go or do you let her know that’s not communicating was a bad move. At 2 months out you don’t need this stress

I wouldn't ask her if you just want a placeholder to stand next to you, but if you genuinely want her to be a part of your day I would ask his cousin.


As far as the MOH ignoring your texts, I would try to met up with her to let her know that you're upset she can't join but you understand that it's an expensive trip and not always affordable to take time off work (my fiance doesn't get paid time off, so for him the time off would be an added expense). Her ignoring you is likely a stress response to being unable to afford to go, it can be embarrassing to talk about money so she might be avoiding the pain of talking about it.

Should I ask my fiancé’s cousin to be my bridesmaid? I know it’s last minute, and it may seem like sloppy seconds but I’m desperate to have more than just one bridesmaid.