Bridesmaids

Congrats on the engagement!!!

Oof. Honestly, I've been on the other end of that - not outright asking, but assuming I'd be in the wedding party due to the nature of our friendship. But being on the bride's end of it now, it's very different. If you haven't had to choose a bridal party, it's hard for some people to understand the factors that go into picking your squad.

If you've had people straight up asking you about it (so rude), I'd say just let them know sooner rather than later that you've picked your wedding party already and can't wait to celebrate with them on the wedding day (if they'd even be invited to the wedding). Or a social media post about how grateful you are for your team of bridesmaids (if you post regularly on social) would be a great way for others to see they aren't going to be involved in that.

Ultimately, it's your day - don't let people try to make you feel guilty or pressured!

Congratulations on your engagement!


I agree with the others. You definitely need to be direct, and don't put off letting them know they aren't in your wedding party. If you plan on a small wedding party you can say that, or you can say "I'm/we're very flattered/honoured that you want to be a part of our wedding, and we're really excited to celebrate with you. But we've already selected our wedding party". Feelings might get a little bruised, but ultimately it is your day and your decision! And if they can't be happy for you and attend your wedding as a guest then you obviously don't want them standing next to you on the day of.

First off congrats on the engagement last week!

Wow it's mind blowing what some people just assume when friends get engaged.

I would just be direct with them right away. You shouldn't need to feel obligated to have them be apart of your day just because they say "I better be a bridesmaid". It's your wedding and you can choose whoever you want to be apart of your wedding

I had the same thing happen to me. I had one girl ask who my maid of honor was going to be and when I told her she said "well don't forget about me when selecting bridesmaids then!" We weren't close friends, I hadnt even seen her in 6 years at that point. I just told all of them I was keeping the group small and only wanted my sisters and 2 best friends. It was good to be direct right away. Don't add anyone you don't want as part of the bridal party, that would be way too stressful.

I cant believe anyone would just naturally assume that. I was honestly honored and surprised when my own sister asked me to be her bridesmaid.

Wow people are very presumptive and bold lol. I think unless they directly say they expect to be a bridesmaid I would ignore it and make some sort of social media announcement re your actual bridesmaids as soon as possible. If anyone directly says they will be a bridesmaid and you don't plan to ask them I'd just be direct and tell them while you love them, you aren't planning for them to be in your wedding.