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Curious June 2019 Ontario

Bridesmaid issues

Lindsay, on October 8, 2018 at 08:00 Posted in Before the wedding 0 4

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My wedding is still 8 months away. One of bridesmaids is dealing with a lot right now and has not responded to any of my messages or any of the messages from the other bridesmaid the whole time we have been talking about the wedding and stuff.
She has finally just sent me a message apologizing and saying that she still wnats yo be apart of the day but cant afford to buy the dress or be apart of bachelorette. She told me that honestly i wont be able to rely on her so she understand if i dont want her to be apart of her day

So i think it is probably just best if she is there on the day to just celebrate with everyone else.
I have another good friend that i have always wanted to ask to be in the wedding but i didnt want odd numbers of bridemaids and groommen. Plua within the last 6.months i feel like we have gotten alot closer. My question is now how do i ask my her to be apart of our day without her thinking she was a last minute choice?

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Lyla, on October 14, 2018 at 02:02

Devoted July 2018 Alberta
Lyla · On October 14, 2018 at 02:02
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I went through something similar. My sister dropped out of my wedding party so I instead asked my cousin to fill her place, I had originally wanted to include her and another cousin but it was just too many people.. I think my other cousin was a little upset that I didn’t include her too, but it comes down to who you’re closest with. There was so much family drama when it came to my wedding, we were happy to finally have it over and done with lmao. Anyways, I’m sure she’ll understand where you’re coming from. I wish you luck!
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Expert April 2019 Alberta
Michelle · On October 10, 2018 at 15:28
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I had a falling out with a friend I had already asked to be a bridesmaid, and so she will not be even coming to the wedding anymore. As a result I then had to fill her spot. I asked another close friend of mine and I too was worried about her feeling bad about being a second option. My advice is do not even worry about it, because in my situation she was THRILLED. She knew the circumstances of her being asked and really did not care she wasn't asked first. She was just so excited to be asked at all.
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Frequent user January 2021 Alberta
Sara · On October 9, 2018 at 16:54
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I think you just be honest.
When you originally put your wedding party together, you weren't as close as you are now, but when your other BM had to step down you immediately thought of her because you've grown so close over the last several months.
I'm sure she will be honoured
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Super May 2019 Alberta
Peggy · On October 9, 2018 at 10:40
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We are dealing with something similar with my fiancé's 'best ma'am' - we've been engaged for a year, and have been actively planning our wedding for about 6 months so far, with another 7 months to go. She hasn't responded to anything wedding related, whether phone call's, emails, or Facebook messages or events. He's finally decided if she doesn't come to the dress shopping event my bridesmaids are having this Saturday, he's going to ask her to step back. She's still welcome at the wedding, but coming as a guest will take the pressure (financially, which is apparently a stressful factor for her, and time wise) off of her.
I would say that you should be honest with your replacement friend. "I had someone who backed out as a bridesmaid. I would be really honoured if you would be willing to stand up for me."
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