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Curious July 2020 British Columbia

Bridesmaid drama

Megan, on December 30, 2019 at 13:00 Posted in Before the wedding 0 7

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So I have a close friend from high school (I graduated 3 years ago, still see each other every few months) who I’ve been told by word of mouth is very upset that she is not a bridesmaid.

I decided not to choose her as a bridesmaid because1. We have a small bridal party (3) 2. She hasn’t been excited about the relationship or super supportive of our decisions together ie “I don’t support you guys living together, but I still love you”3. Her and my FH do not know each other very well and she has not been involved in our relationship as she has with past relationships
She knows these reasons as we discussed them before I was even engaged. It’s difficult because me and her are close friends.... but she’s not involved with the relationship....
Help!

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Rayanne, on December 31, 2019 at 09:43

Master June 2022 Ontario
Rayanne · On December 31, 2019 at 09:43
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Glad it has worked out.
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Curious July 2020 British Columbia
Megan · On December 31, 2019 at 02:51
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So I ended up talking with my non-bridesmaid... she said she was never upset, just a bit surprised and just that it’s my wedding and I should do what makes me happy. Our mothers need to learn to shut their mouths mind their own business 🤦🏻‍♀️
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VIP August 2020 Ontario
Ashley · On December 30, 2019 at 14:44
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You need to speak to her in person and let her know ur reasons for why you didnt pick her. maybe there is another task she can help out with instead? or help you guys decorate or set up or something?
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Master October 2020 New Brunswick
Amelia · On December 30, 2019 at 14:10
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That sounds like a great compromise. I hope you two can work it out.
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Curious July 2020 British Columbia
Megan · On December 30, 2019 at 14:02
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We had discussed why she was not in the bridal party before I went ahead and told the others... she will still be involved in bachelorette and bridal party events! We have asked her to MC instead
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Master October 2020 New Brunswick
Amelia · On December 30, 2019 at 14:01
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I agree with Genevieve. Definitely take the time to talk. It might be awkwt but it's better to be honest.

Would you still include her in bachelorette and dress shopping type activities? If you would I would be sure to tell her, that way she can feel included. If not than I imagine you aren't as close as she thinks you are which means she definitely should not be in your wedding.
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VIP September 2020 Ontario
Geneviève · On December 30, 2019 at 13:07
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Unfortunately this happens sometimes with certain people where they take it personally that they are not in the party. First off, that’s their problem and they have to deal with that.
I would sit her down and have a real discussion with her about your feelings and where you stand. The worst part about the news through the grapevine is it feeds a passive aggressiveness that can be really detrimental to your friendship. Be honest with how you feel and how you’re disappointed that you had to hear it from somewhere else. Hopefully she’s mature enough to have a conversation with you that leads to a resolution and you’ll both be happy again.
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