Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Tiara
Newbie October 2019 Ontario

Bridesmaid Bash

Tiara, on August 13, 2018 at 20:43 Posted in Before the wedding 0 16
So, I chose my bridal party based on who was active and relevant in my life. One of the ladies I have chosen to ask is now being very distant, blowing me off and seems to be cancelling and changing plans just to avoid seeing me. I haven’t seen her since I got engaged almost 3 months ago. She barely even answers my texts.

I dont know wether or not it’s worth asking her to be a bridesmaid officially.. she knows I wanted her to stand by me but I’m not sure she will even show up.

What at should I do?

16 Comments

Latest activity by Tiara, on August 19, 2018 at 08:47
  • Tiara
    Newbie October 2019 Ontario
    Tiara ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    It’s nice to hear that someone else had a similar issue! I think I’m going to wait for a while and see if her attitude changes. If not, I know there are others who would be happy to spend time helping me along the way.
    • Reply
  • Natalie
    Frequent user August 2019 Ontario
    Natalie ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    Maybe she’s upset because you haven’t asked her to be in the bridal party? Smiley laugh
    • Reply
  • Chelsea
    Super June 2020 Alberta
    Chelsea ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    I went through almost the exact same issue, and I chose not to ask her to be apart of the wedding party. and I have absolutely NO regrets.
    • Reply
  • Meagan
    Frequent user October 2021 Nova Scotia
    Meagan ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    Wait it out! If you think she might flake, then don't ask her yet and keep monitoring her behavior.

    • Reply
  • Clarissa
    Expert October 2018 Saskatchewan
    Clarissa ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    If she knows you want to ask her (I’m assuming you haven’t asked your party yet) it might be that she just doesn’t want to be part of the wedding party. It can be a lot of work and of course a lot of money and there are a lot of people who would prefer to just show up and support their friends as regular guests instead of the added pressure and responsibilities of being in the wedding party. They still love you the same but not everyone gets as excited about wedding planning as others.
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    Frequent user September 2018 British Columbia
    Jennifer ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    If she's not showing interest in your life, don't go through with it. From experience, you don't want to deal with someone flakey. It's only going to make things worse for you.

    • Reply
  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    I know you have tried reaching out to your friend many times to find out the issue and she doesn't want to say the truth. There is a feeling something isn't right.

    I wouldn't let her be part of the bridal party with her attitude at this point and not answering your texts or phone calls. Its unacceptable for one and pushing you away right now and then now knowing if she does show up at the end for second.

    • Reply
  • S
    Frequent user January 2021 Alberta
    Sara ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    You need to straight up ask her, "are you upset with me about something? It sems like you've been avoiding me and that hurts because I consider you a very close friend."

    • Reply
  • E
    Expert December 2018 Ontario
    Emma ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Just come right out and ask her. Ask her straight out why you aren’t meeting like you used to.

    Maybe she has things going on that she doesn’t want to tell you about. Maybe she’s jealous. Maybe she hates your fiancé. Who knows. If you want to know you need to ask her. We can’t read her mind.

    If she had no real reason. Well maybe you guys aren’t as close as you think.

    You will I’ll never know until you actually have a conversation with her.
    • Reply
  • Melissa
    Frequent user September 2018 Quebec
    Melissa ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Did she congratulate you on your engagement and do the typical friend stuff like “can’t wait for the big day”? If you guys were seeing each other twice a week and talking regularly and she suddenly can’t return texts or see you, that is odd but maybe she’s really busy?
    • Reply
  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    Have you officially asked her to be a bridesmaid yet?

    I think a discussion about things is in order if you can get a hold of her.

    I think if she continues being distant then you should consider asking someone else.

    • Reply
  • Tiara
    Newbie October 2019 Ontario
    Tiara ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    I have asked several times if she is okay. She mentioned nothing causing her stress and we have a very open line of communication between us usually. We used to meet every Monday and Thursday but she has been avoiding me since I got engaged. A selfish side of me assumes it is because she is jealous that I am engaged (and she hopes to be)
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Devoted February 2020 Ontario
    Emily ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content

    I would try and reach out to her and have a talk about everything, being in the bridal party, expectations, maybe figure out why she is avoiding you as well. If she doesn't make an effort to contact you or be in your life after the conversation, then it might be best to leave her out (totally up to you of course!!) Having a member of the bridal party that isn't 100% committed can cause a lot of extra stress because you have to take responsibility for them - ensuring they get dress measurements, paying, alternations, showing up on time etc.

    • Reply
  • Melissa
    Frequent user September 2018 Quebec
    Melissa ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    Were you guys talking and seeing each other regularly before? It’s possible, as others have said, that something has happened in her life. You could always reach out and ask if everything is okay?
    • Reply
  • E
    Expert December 2018 Ontario
    Emma ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    Talk to her. Ask her what’s wrong (maybe she has something going on in her life you don’t know about).
    • Reply
  • Julie
    Expert March 2019 Ontario
    Julie ·
    • Dispute
    • Hide content
    That's a tough one. Is there any chance she is being stand off ish because you haven't asked her and she is feeling left out?
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

Groups

WeddingWire Article Topics