Bridal Shower guilt?

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I'm so glad someone else gets it!!

The planning is already in place so I can't get my mom to change her mind. However, the guys are going to be doing their own thing during the shower and then we're all coming together for a big bbq! So part of it is co-ed at least.

We do want to have kids at some point, but a few years after the wedding. However, I still don't want people asking way too-personal questions about our personal lives.

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I'm laughing because you and I are so on the same page with this haha!

I also got looked at like I had 2 heads, but I was insistent on the couple shower. Definitely took the moms some time to warm up to the idea, but now that the planning is full swing, I think they're okay. Though I lost the fancy sandwich battle; that's still a thing that's happening.

I'm hoping because its co-ed, I wont get the "when are you having kids" questions. Fingers crossed. We don't want kids, so having to explain why to a room full of horrified Aunts would be awful.

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Oh I like that! Celebrating a milestone is a nice way to put it

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I'm glad I'm not the only one!! My mom looked at me like I had 2 heads when I suggested a couples' shower, so I guess that wasn't happening lol.

On the plus side, it's only 3 hours I have to cringe-smile my way through questions like "so when are you going to start trying for/having kids after your wedding?"

I do - and I don't.

I try and rationalize it like your Mom is telling you - that everybody else who's wedding I've gone to has had a wedding shower and I've bought them stuff - now it's my turn!

If that's not working though, what about thinking from their point of view. A wedding shower is a way to let them get you a physical gift that they wouldn't be able to bring to your wedding itself due to the faux pas of giving the bride and groom too much to bring home.

Or, try thinking of it like a birthday. You get presents on your birthday (at least as a kid hopefully), just for simply aging!! At least by getting married you are reaching a milestone in your life that you are celebrating!

I feel a bit weird about mine too. On my end I feel guilty because I have a tight schedule this summer and so does everybody else in my family and bridal party. This makes it tough to plan a date. I’m also not used to all the attention being on me either!

What did the invite say? Would it be possible to change the focus of the event from being a "shower" to perhaps a working bee to help with any wedding prep /DIY's for the wedding? Shifting the focus could make people feel helpful without having to buy you gifts (that you probably don't need) and will make the activity the center of attention instead of you.

I personally hate getting gifts - which sucks because I know people like giving them. Hopefully its not too late and people haven't bought you anything yet so you can update the event.

I'm also feeling weird about mine. I trust my bridesmaids and I know it will be lovely but I also hate having all the attention on me. I am not even registering because I feel so so guilty when people spend on me (we are also likely moving across the country shortly after the wedding so the last thing we need is more stuff). I realize that this is an opportunity to spend time with both familes, especially those who won't come to the bachelorette but I don't think 'celebrating me' will very feel comfortable. I just want to celebrate my mariage.

I was this way as well. I also don’t like surprises and I am a bit of a control freak. I was fortunate as my sister who is also my maid of honour threw my bridal shower. She new I didn’t like being the center of attention and she made sure it was fun. The only part I hated was opening of gifts this I found very stressful. I had people that bought me stuff that wasn’t on my registry and trying to keep thank you face was difficult. Other than that it was a great time I had fun and I got to just relax.

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Oh man, I hear you on the house-wife vibe! The last thing I wanted was some kinda suzie-homemaker hen party, which is why we're having a couple's shower.

I also feel very weird about the shower!! It's more of a house-wife vibe I associate with bridal showers that makes me feel weird/uncomfortable since I have a full-time job. We aren't asking for gifts at the shower since our current house is small and we're currently renovating to sell so we can move into something bigger.

I'm also focusing my shower more on spending time with family and friends that love and support me, and this is just another celebration to my marriage.

Totally feel weird about it too. I was just chatting with a girlfriend who is also getting married and I told her I'm more nervous about the shower than the wedding since all the attention will be on me alone. It's very uncomfortable.

Just try to remember that your friends love and support you, and want to celebrate your upcoming marriage

I for sure felt this way when a Bridal shower was first brought up. I didn't want to ask for people to upgrade some of my household items as we have lived together for 3 years. So I am just leaving it completely up to the guests coming as to if they want to give money or just some type of gift!

I’m the same way! But I’m focussing less on the gifts and focussing more on celebrating being a bride with all of my friends and family.

looking forward to creating more happy memories.

I def get it and I made sure my items weren't to much, I have went to soo many bridal showers, bachorlettes, and weddings lately. I try to keep this in mind like your mom said! It will be fine and honestly love showers. This will be the less stressful thing for me to attend.

I think it's normal to feel this way. Most people expect to be invited to showers and appreciate having specific options that they know the couple want and will use - try to enjoy being spoiled, it's usually a fun day for your guests, too - and those little sandwiches are something I always look forward to at showers!