Bridal Shower

Oh no! When is your shower? Have you considered consulting an event planner to help out?

Your bridal party is the same as mine (just my sister), so I understand how you feel the urge to want to help out financially and or literally. I think it's best to let them take the lead on things since they're throwing this shower for you. I can appreciate how you'd like to accommodate your guests preferences regarding beverages, so maybe just suggest that to your mom and sister and let them do what they want with that information.

Everything will work itself out in the end and be great

For sure! I planned to bring some crayons too and printed some colouring pages that were wedding related - just found them on google images.. just in case mom needs a break or they start to get restless

That's an amazing idea! I wonder if I could also sneak in some juice boxes or something for the younger kids..

I think that's perfect.. that's what our champagne was too - a mimosa bar.. so you could have juice, champagne or make your own mimosa.. I think it's a great compromise.. bring a case of water too.. that's the one thing I didn't think of and a few people asked for water.. It will work out and people are coming to see you anyways, all in all it is a fun day.

I hear you!

I am willing to financially contribute as well, my sister is much younger than me and I can't expect her to pay out a lot for a bridal shower - it's not right.

I am looking to just rent a venue that is large enough for my group, have a basic lunch (salad/chicken/cake) with a mimosa bar. That way, if people do not want alcohol at least there is juice.

I feel like as long as I am contributing.. it isn't that bad if I try to spruce up what has been suggested to me.

I hear ya.. so many different traditions. I would just say do whatever you feel most comfortable with and what your style is.. maybe you can kinda find a middle between his family and yours. Instead of either super formal or super casual try and pull some aspects of each and make it come together. I paid for a lot for our shower to be honest, I know you're not supposed to and I wasn't overly happy about it.. but I couldn't expect my 2 bridesmaids to pay for a venue and a caterer and my fiance's friends weren't helping at all. The only alcohol we had was champagne and it was a brunch theme. I know some people do the banquet hall, seated meal thing which is cool, but it is not overly common nor do I think it's expected. It is to celebrate you so it should reflect you. Try not to do too much because you think that's what other people want, do what you want.

Right?! it is really difficult. Almost more difficult than my wedding because my FH's family kind of expects events to be one way... my family is always more casual cause we do not have a lot of family. So I try to compromise and it is hard.

I would have loved to be at home or my mom's house too but I was in the same boat.. not that many people, but still too many for everyone to fit comfortably.

Honestly - doing it at home would have made me the most comfortable but unfortunately our house/backyard will not accommodate 120-150 people

I don't think you're out of line.. but I have been to plenty of showers where there was no alcohol at all... They are usually serve yourself for food and sometimes it just finger foods. People don't go to showers expecting a sit down meal and an open bar.. Of course if that's what you want then sure.. there's no harm in it.. but it definitely isn't necessary. I have also been to a lot of showers at people's homes, you grab a plate, get some food and grab a seat.. very casual.

My sister wants to help me out. I do not think she is that interested in helping my mom all that much. She is of the opinion that my mom is just doing the bare minimum because it is not a party for her.

We have to invite the women on my guest list, so my guest list for the shower is 120-150, so unfortunately, as much as I would have loved to have my shower in our backyard - it is not feasible.

Different cultures have different expectations - my side, we would only typically invite the bride's closest family and friends but I am closer to my FH's family and friends and there is way more of them. So I do not feel right by not including them in my shower. My FH's side does their showers differently where all the women are invited and it is kind of a bigger party without the big expense. So, I am trying to keep in line with their expectations because there is more of them - if that makes sense.

I agree with Tori. Many of the showers I have been to were at halls, with just basic wine, snacks, and almost like a pot luck. Lots of salads, finger foods, veggie trays, fruit trays etc.

My sisters wedding shower was done in her MIL's backyard, but the same food situation going on.

If you are looking to go for a plated meal, maybe talk to your sister about helping out?

I have tried really hard not to get involved in my Bridal shower, so I am just sitting back and letting my Step Mom plan it.

I mean, maybe we have just been to really different showers - but all of the wedding showers I have ever been to were started at like 1pm or so and at most had sangria to drink but no booze other than that. (And have been planned by the Mom's only - the bridesmaids can help but the shower is usually put together by the Mom's where I'm from.)

For food it was paper plates and sandwich rolls and cucumber sandwiches. And then dainties for the sweet tooth.

It sounds like you Mom is just planning a normal wedding shower to me.