Bridal shower

I would say that an engagement party isn't needed at all - but if you do have one you could have it at a restaurant and just pay for your own meals. It's meant for family and friends to meet up and celebrate but isn't needed (I didn't have one).

For the Wedding shower, the etiquette rule is no. No you shouldn't be inviting people to the shower who aren't invited to the wedding but of course there are exceptions like if you are only inviting immediate family to the wedding.

As for how many people to invite - it's a matter of money and venue availability!

Try not to stress too much though!

Engagement parties/bridal showers are definitely not necessary!! I had an engagement party, there's no real point to it, except for celebrating your engagement/upcoming wedding.

Usually, these parties are planned by someone else: the mother of the bride/groom and/or the wedding party. I don't know much about my shower, only that I have to let my mom know of a date that I'm in town that works. It's kind of stressful just selecting a date that works for most people and I almost want to tell her not to bother, since I have a lot of personal beef with showers lol

As for who to invite, and close female family and friends, plus your bridal party. Or you could do a co-ed shower, that includes both you and your FH, and your closest family and friends. As many said, don't invite anyone to a shower that aren't invited to the wedding, unless your having a destination wedding and only a select few guests can actually travel.

In my opinion the only "necessary" thing is the wedding ceremony lol. Do if you don't want to do one or all of the extra parties, don't feel pressured to. And invite who you please. We skipped a formal engagement party and I am not having a bachelorette party or a bridal shower, despite a lot of pressure from friends and family. I don't need the extra stress of planning those events, and I don't want to spend the money, either. I'd rather save and buy for myself the stuff I would have gotten as gifts at a shower.

It is completely up to you when it comes to what wedding events you want to have. We have been engaged for a year, and haven't had an engagement party. One less thing for people to plan, and less of a headache!

My step mom is planning my bridal shower and there is only 35 people coming (only my side of the family) it will be up to my FMIL to plan one with their side of the family if that is something she wants.

These types of events are up to either the wedding party, or the mothers of bride/groom to plan. You guys are planning the wedding, so like others have said, aside from planning a day and where you want it, that should be the extent of planning on your side.

I have seen some people invite others who are not coming to the wedding (especially if it is a destination or smaller wedding)

These events are not required, but they certainly are traditional, and many view them as part of the whole 'wedding package', so to speak.

If you've been engaged for 10 months, I would probably skip the engagement party, myself, but if someone wants to throw you a bridal shower, I would absolutely let them. As others have said, only invite people to the shower who are also invited to the wedding.

Generally with the bridal shower, you are not doing anything with it, other than picking the date and location (IE: city). Traditionally, it's your mother or future mother in law who host the bridal shower, and take care of planning it and paying for it. It could also be your bridesmaids, if they want to, as well. So you really don't have anything to worry about other than showing up for that one!

You as a bride can decide to not have the engagement/bridal shower if you feel its more to spend. As bridesmaids, they can throw you one and you can make the list different from the wedding guests list. If you wish, invite half the ladies local keeping the cost low. Monetary gifts are being asked more these days upon request if not wanting boxed gifts.

Your wedding day is when you will be getting the monetary and/or boxed gifts and putting all the costs towards that day. It seems fair to just have everyone there 1 time than twice to celebrate you as a bride to be.

I second what Bianca said! Only do what feels right for you, but if you do choose to have one or both of these events, only invite people who'd be invited to the wedding.

If you do choose to have a bridal shower, the gifts are usually different from what's on your wedding registry. They would be directed more towards the bride, unless you opt for a co-ed shower.

You know what? Me neither lol. My bridal shower is going to be pretty small compared to all of the ones I've been to. I've got a mere 30 guests and a lot of them are family lol.

Hey Rayann! As far as it goes for feeling compelled to have a bridal party and/or engagement party, don't worry about it! If you don't want those, then don't have them. Typically, someone else would host those events for you and you would just get the gifts (whatever that may be). And if these people are also invited to the wedding, then they'd be expected to give you a gift at the wedding too (a gift is usually expected for each event).

Now, for inviting people to the shower who are not invited to the wedding? That's a big faux pas. The rule of thumb is only people who are invited to the wedding should get invited to the pre-wedding events.

I hope this helps a bit!