Bridal shower

Etiquette says that you should not invite anyone to the shower who is not also invited to the wedding.

I agree, find a way for your Mil and mother to work with your wedding party.

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Hmmmm... In that case you or your Mom/MIL could say that they asked for the guest list (which should have the emails/phone numbers on there)? They would need that info to invite people to the shower anyway right? (Just trying to stay sneaky over here.)

View quoted message Yeah, problem is my MIL and my mom don’t have any of my bridesmaids information. So hard to pass on that message but I’ll try. As for Max capacity we have room for like 650, but at most we will have 200 people. So plenty of space and everyone who would be invited to the ceremony and dessert and dance would know and be okay with it.

I would either have a shower for just family and just friends like Gina suggests - or get your mom and MIL to talk to your bridesmaids. Although you are not suppose to know about the bridesmaids shower, your mom and MIL would normally reach out to the bridal party for help anyway and I'm sure they can play it off as "we were wondering if you guys would like to be involved? Oh? What's that? You were planning already? Whaaaaaat? Let's do it together!".

As for those who requested to come to the wedding (minus the supper part) - I say it's totally fine if they are aware of why they can't come to eat. AAAAAND! Make sure that the venue isn't at maximum capacity! Wouldn't want to allow guests to come and dance but be turned away at the door because they've reached the max amount of people for it to be safe (in case of fire)!

View quoted message I Think it’s definitely a good idea to invite them! Especially if they understand that they couldn’t be invited to the dinner due to limits, but still want to support you on your big day! I personally would not be offended if someone invited me to their shower, but explained to me why I wasn’t invited to the wedding. But I know a lot of people that would be very offended.

View quoted message Well I’m not even suppose to know about what my bridesmaids are doing. They were taking at our engagement party a few weeks ago and told me to go away. I have had people ask for invites to the ceremony and dance part of the wedding. I’m wondering if I should invite them if they want to come.

I don’t think people who weren’t invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower personally. Some people might have a different opinion on that, which is totally ok. maybe if your bridesmaids are planning you a shower as well, then keep one to friends and one to family. Or ask you Mom and MIL to contact the bridesmaids and allow them to help in the planning process? That way everyone is involved.