Bridal party help!

This is your day! The moment one of wedding party members starts causing drama it's just best to kindly tell them you will have to do this without them in the party. Less stress is best!

If someone is causing drama or doesnt want to be in my wedding and be supportive i would ask them to leave. this one day is for me and FH and i need everyone in our wedding party to be on the same page. im too old for drama and crap. if they are like this now and ur wedding is over a year away how will they act with the months and weeks leading up? or on the day?. either way i would ask them to leave. you dont need that in your wedding party

Honestly, it’s your day. If you don’t want her in your wedding party then kindly let her know. If she’s causing issues already then it is bound to happen again. Busy brides don’t need bad bridesmaids.

That's tough.

I'd sit down with both of them and offer an "out". Being part of a wedding party isn't for everyone, and offering them a way out might be welcomed...and save your friendship.

This is a tricky situation since it can and most likely will affect your friendship with these two. You can ask them to step down and just be guests but explain it in a gentle way and put a positive spin on it for them. Like it’ll be more fun and less stressful for them if they were just guests and didn’t have responsibilities. But from what you’re saying, they may make a big deal out of it. You just have to remember that it’s your wedding and you need to be happy with your decisions.

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I don't know what to tell you Deanna. That's a super tough spot to be in.
Have you talked to your Fiance about him possibly talking to his Best man about how he feels, and not appreciating the way hes taking this? Possibly ask your Fiance to have a chat with his Best Man and tell him that you are BOTH thinking of having the girlfriend removed & see how he responds and go from there?

As much as the Best man will hate to hear it, I am sure he will know his GF was only in the party because if him, and instead of being immature about this whole situation he should have noticed that and respected you for doing that, despite it being your day.
I just hope your Fiance works it out with him, because its a crappy spot for him to be in too. Especially when he chose him as his Best Man.

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Yea thats not the point of being a best man. I would deal with this before gets to far and stick to your grounds. I had hard time sticking to mine and just caused more pain down the road.

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I would agree. This is on point.

It sort of happened with our upcoming event in which there was some issues on both sides.

1st rule for us was - this is our event. It certainly matters to have people who will be by your side for us. This event is truely not about them. Any real friend will know this and will do what is needed to be there for you on one of the more important days of your life.

It's was approx. more than 1 yr prior - it happened with Maid of Honor was switched... And my fiancee couldn't be happier in the end with both of us making the decision.

Then on my side. There was a fallout with one of the groomsmen in which decided to bail out in retaliation and later changed attempted to redeem himself and tried to redeem himself.

In the end, he was removed in principle because there is a head count on max number of guest which was finalized and stood by this. Naturally there is some regret but in the end. This is our day and this is what matters in the end.

JGD

I agree with everyone else. If you want to remove or demote as soon as possible. Especially if that's what they are asking for. Best of luck to you both. Awkwardness now is so much better than a ruined friendship later

View quoted message Oh my goodness how childish! It sounds like middle school. Honestly I wouldn’t have either but you’re right I guess you can’t make the choice for your FH. 😞
maybe give him some time to realize the other guy is being lame and hopefully he will catch on and agree to remove them?

View quoted message We haven’t planned anything yet thank goodness! But that’s exactly what I mean, you said it perfectly Amanda. I have told my fiancé to demote him as GM but he doesn’t want to, and I can’t force him to make a decision either.

View quoted message And that’s the problem, her boyfriend said yes to my fiancé to be his best man & about a month after he asked. He decided to tell my fiancé that he didn’t want to be the best man at the wedding because he would want to be a best man to his friends wedding first instead of his. And that he doesn’t see my fiancé as his best friend. But that’s not the point of being a best man. And I feel that she had something to do with it somehow and I will never know the truth

Oh that is difficult to deal with. It is very unfortunate to ask them to not be in the bridal party, but I agree that if you want them out, the sooner the better. Especially before outfits and events start getting planned out!
This is about you guys, and who you want beside you! You also don’t want the drama during all your planning

That's a very tough spot to be in! Have you planned anything yet like dresses, bridal shower, bachelorette party?
If you haven't done anything yet and she hasn't contributed in any way as of yet, I would strongly suggest you sit with her and either talk out this issue, or tell her that you no longer want her in the wedding party. It sounds as if you had her there just because her other half was the best-man & I personally think if that was your only reason, than she doesn't really deserve to be standing beside you representing you on YOUR day.

It would be a very tough conversation and decision to make, especially if they are already being childish it may just cause a MAJOR issue, but that's what I would personally do as I wouldn't want anyone up there unless they are close to me, and I am proud of them to represent me. Your bridal party Shouldn't EVER cause you drama.
I would also suggest your Fiance does "demote" his buddy to a groomsmen. He will want someone who is happy and proud to take on that roll.
I hope you sort it all out! I am wishing you the very best & am here if you need anything!

I agree - if you were only asking her with 50% reason being she is a friend and the other 50% being that she is/was the best man's girlfriend then it's best to do this sooner rather than later.

The longer you wait the less reason you have to demote. If in a couple months you haven't found anybody and the two of you are on better terms then I would ask her to still be a BM but for now don't rush into filling that spot unless you have somebody who is by your side and should have had that title to begin with.

I had this with a bm and its honestly better to demote now then try to later when closer to. We did multiple things one day and came and hung out with friends that night- including the couple and everything went to crab with her making it all about her and causing issues. I would HIGHLY recommend from experience to get rid of her.

Hi Deanna,

I know it's always awkward to "unask" someone to be in your wedding party, but if it means no/less drama, then it's totally worth it. You may need to be prepared to have this turn into something bigger and lose the friendships out of it though...