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Newbie October 2022 British Columbia

Bridal Party Dilemma

Kirsten, on September 25, 2021 at 19:07 Posted in Before the wedding 0 7
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Hi all,

I am getting married in October 2022, and I'm having a hard time deciding on my bridal party.

My only sister will be my maid of honour. I will also be asking my two college roommates to be bridesmaids as we have dreamed about being in each others' weddings for years and years.

My fiance's two high school best friends will both be groomsmen. One has a long term girlfriend that I have become very close to, and the other one is married and I'm not as close to his wife. Here is the dilemma: I really want to ask the girlfriend to be a bridesmaid, but not the other one's wife.

The issue is that the married couple had a destination elopement a couple years ago, and we were the only guests that were invited. In addition, the wife was very upset when another friend got married and her husband was a groomsman but she wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid. She can be a difficult person to deal with and is not very reliable, but I don't want to cause a rift in our friend group by not picking her.

My fiance only really has 3-4 guys he wants to ask to be groomsmen, and I really don't want to end up with 5 bridesmaids as that seems like way too many and I'm not sure all of them will get along.

TL;DR: If I pick one groomsman's partner to be a bridesmaid, do I also have to pick the other one's wife from the same friend group, even if we aren't very close?

Thanks in advance!

7 Comments

Latest activity by Emily, on October 18, 2021 at 15:35
  • Emily
    Beginner December 2022 Ontario
    Emily ·
    • Dispute

    Oh my goodness, I can totally relate! I have the same issue but on both sides of the equation. Reading all these comments helped me as well, and I think everyone is right! Keep the people you love close and just dont worry about the rest.

    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Featured September 2022 Ontario
    Meghan ·
    • Dispute

    You don't need to ask the other wife if you don't want to its your day!! As my future SIL said to me there's always going to be someone thats not happy with your wedding decisions

    • Reply
  • Jamie
    Curious June 2022 British Columbia
    Jamie ·
    • Dispute

    If you don't want her to be in the bridal party, then that's fine. It's your day. If she has a problem with it, then that's her own issue. Not yours =)

    • Reply
  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
    • Dispute

    I think you already know the answer to your question - you can choose whoever you want to be in your bridal party and you don't have to include this person just because you're asking another person in the "same category".

    I would hope everyone can act like mature adults in a situation like this, but if she does get upset or throw a fit I really think that's her problem and not yours. I understand things might be awkward in the friend group, but do you really want to be good friends with her if this is how she acts? Just because she's married to a good friend of yours doesn't mean you need to be besties with her.

    But ultimately it's up to you and you know the situation best. If you think it's worth avoiding drama to include her then go for it.

    • Reply
  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
    • Dispute

    People are not entitled to be in your bridal party, especially people you don't know too well.

    • Reply
  • Carmel
    Featured December 2020 Ontario
    Carmel ·
    • Dispute
    What Amanda said. It's your day and your relationships. She's an adult and should understand ... sounds like she has some bigger challenges (psychologically) to deal with unfortunately. Friends should be supportive of whatever friends do. You do you!!!
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
    • Dispute

    You don't need to pick the other wife if you don't want to her to be in the bridal party. It's your day and you can honestly choose whoever you want to have by your side on your big day. Some people think they are entitled to something just because and that is really not the case! You don't want to look back at pictures later on in life and think why did I have her be part of our day if I'm not really close friends with her you know! If she gets mad because you didn't chose her to be a bridesmaid so be it it's not her day!

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