Bridal party anxiety!

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It is defiantly unnecessary! Trying to get through it. Going to message the group again this weekend to see if they can make the dress apt. So far I have it down to his sister who won't message back. One bm who was vocal said she could but she asked if my sister would be there. I just told her I wasn't sure yet as it depends on weather since few hours away. I don't think she wants to be in the same room, but same time they need to get over it and move past. It has been pretty frustrating as one bm- the one talking about above. I am in her wedding party, she said in the group chat she could barley attend a night, however, when i spoke with her on weekend about her bach she told me she wanted a weekend long at a cottage with a wine tour, nails and more. It ends up being same prices as mine. Tad frustrated but I will be bigger person and plan how she wants.

I am sorry to hear about your drama though! The original best man ended up telling us no because he was in another wedding before us and over 6 hours away. He was really stressed as the company he was working for transferred him to different location and it would be 15 hours away, and he has little vacation left after helping out with other wedding. He said he didn't want the experience of best man to be ruined with him not being able to make it to everything he should! It was nice he explained it all, however, if your brother is close I don't see how he can't get time off and most things are on weekends!

Wow, all that drama sounds super unnecessary. I am sorry that you are dealing with it. While I understand that its hard to make plans that far in advance I do think everyone is blowing things out of proportion. You are trying to accommodate all your bridesmaids and with one living so far away from you, it needs to be planned more in advance.

Glad to hear that you MOHs are supporting you and are frustrated with the other ladies for not responding. While life can get in the way of a speedy response it is telling that the most vocal people during the drama are the ones not talking to you now.

I like the suggestions of having your MOHs spear head the planning. I also like the idea of giving them two dates to choose from. If they refuse to settle on something than that is on them, not you and not the MOHs.

I can empathize with your frustration over not being able to get a solid answer from people. My fiance's brother won't even tell us yes or no to being in the wedding party. He says he'll get fired for requesting time off... lo,l, that is 100% illegal. Plus people are pretty accommodating if you tell them its for a sibling's wedding.

That’s the best thing you can do for sure, don’t stress if they all can’t all go together if will all turn out.

View quoted message Thanks Jenn! I figured out a date and have told wedding party individually as my friend has to book flights by end of this month as when sale ends. And as for dresses hope they all will come or will go seperate!

I’m going through the exact same thing right now with my bridal party. Basically I gave out a date and asked the to all be there. If they can’t make it that day I suggested they go when they can. As for the bachelorette party I just have the girls pick out different things to do and I’m the end I will choose

Ugh. So frustrating! I'm sorry you're having to deal with this! Hopefully everything works out!

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I will give that a go! and for sure I am in a wedding party next year and believe the same for what you can afford you should only spend. Same time being in another wedding I have learned to budget a head of time to see what I could afford and some are telling me they can't tell the wedding party a budget until the month of. Which not sure if they realize what budgeting means lol

Either way I hope for the whole process everyone gets a long! It would make things so much funner for me especially and enjoy it

I’m having similar issues! Too many cooks in the kitchen.

Our solution has been 2 choices, majority wins. So instead of saying “what dates work?” we changed the language to “feb family day weekend or labour day?”

I have some BMs that want to travel and others that are unable to, all I ask is that no one spends money they can’t afford to & we have as many people as possible from the group.


This is supposed to be fun!!

View quoted message Sending positive thoughts your way!

View quoted message The MO both asked if us three could plan bachorlette then pitch few options diff prices to the main group once figured it out. Both aren’t fans of the rest and think they would tell me. They were pretty upset how no one will respond to me in the group. I hope after a month everyone can move past this fight and get on same page

View quoted message Is there any chance 1 of your Girls has started a secret group and just don't want you to know? I found out about my Girls group when 1 Girl mentioned it by accident. I hope someone steps up for you.

View quoted message I know at least two are going to come the one day I booked the apt but they are my sisters. Lol so just groomsman gf and sister in law to be left to come. My mom actually hasn’t came to any apts yet. She’s gonna babysit for my sister during her apt and hopefully bring her to a diff one. I asked my best friend and she said to pick the date thinking because it would be August and have Girl book flights and in about two months let them know the date and go over options. They would still have time to work with the date. I mentioned them to start group separately but no one has taken initiative to do so.

View quoted message Hi Gina! When my sister mentioned maybe doing what you said about having one local- it was suggest by my moh we do this but no one in wedding party offered. I then stepped in when people bickered and said not to worry we will just do a bar night out and no trip- only one instead of two. I’m just having hard time getting anyone to talk to me at the moment even about the dress appointment. Really appreciate your advise!

View quoted message No problem. I really feel bad for you having to go through this. I hope choosing 5 dresses works out for you too. The hardest part was knowing each Girl's Fav & then having to wait for them to have individual appts with me. My Mom came too for as many appts as she could. I did one heck of a happy dance when they all agreed on one.

What if your BF chooses a date and let's everyone know shes making a plan. If anyone has any input, the time is now. Then you have a date to take off work and your Friend can get the best deal on her Flight.

I would go back and talk to all of them as a group. If the bachelorette is more then one night out on the town, then expect people to not go. You could always do a road trip with some friends for fun, but I wouldn’t call it a bachelorette party, because then if people don’t go, it won’t be a big deal. Then pick a night out locally where you can all go have fun and consider that your bachelorette party. Maybe some people aren’t comfortable with sharing that they can’t afford very much. Or maybe they want to put their money towards something else. Maybe they don’t want to go on a road trip. I would do a group chat and suggest a fun night out on the town starting with dinner then going out to a bar. Even do a spa trip with everyone before dinner. My FH was in a wedding party and they went to Vegas for the bachelor party, My FH didn’t go. They didn’t care one bit. They also did a night out locally and my FH went. So if you want, do both!

View quoted message Thanks Julie! I didn’t want them to talk about the plans just give dates available to book flights for friend. It got out of hand really fast. I thought waiting week posting about dress shopping would help but nothing. I booked the apt and still no one responded to me. I went last weekend with best friend and chose about 5 dresses of style I like and then they can try on and see if looks good. There is a sale with swoop air lines until feb 1 and my friend booked her flights for wedding ! Just need a bach date and then book flights for that! She’s hoping to book the flight before the sale ends though and not sure how to approach them about it.

Yikes!!! I really feel for you being caught up in this unnecessary drama! I would ask your MOHs to take charge and leave you out of what sounds like a big mess! I know my 1 MOH started a secret fb group so they could bounce ideas off one another & make plans. I Love that I am being left out of this. I try to hear as little as possible. I think I chose each Girl because I love them & believe they're coming together as 1 unit for my sake which I appreciate. If I were you, these issues would take all the fun out of everything. I chose 5 dresses which I worked so hard to find keeping a budget and 6 Girls taste, sizes XS to 3X+ our Wedding style in mind. Maybe you will need to do something like that as well with the distance and issues you are having already. I started my own secret fb group so I could keep everyone updated on what we are excited about as well as shoes dresses, hair appts, rehearsal dinner etc. I know that when I put up a post saying I will likely need help with favours and only 1 of my bridesmaids liked it, I felt like hmm maybe the others don't want to help but I am a worrier and an over thinker by nature. We as brides to be have so much on our minds that we especially need that support of messaging back or even just a thumbs up. I would share how you are feeling to all your Girls to nip this in the bud! asap. If my future SIL was not speaking to me, it would stress me to the max and likely cause tension with your FH because you are his Fiance and that is his Sister. I sure hope things get much better for you and your Wedding Party.