Breaking std etiquette!?

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Fair enough! I'd stick to your guns and not send them Std's.

If you do not intend on inviting them, I say no STD. If your budget is tight, it is either a hard no for having them, or your MIL will have to foot the bill for those people.

At the end of the day, it is YOUR wedding, not your MIL. My Dad keeps saying this to me and every time he does, it is 100% true. Its just sticking to your decision!

View quoted message Many of these people were at a reception my MIL held for us after we LEGALLY got married. I don’t see a point in inviting them since 90% don’t have passports to travel, and won’t travel (health or otherwise). Honestly, I’m going to tell her we are sending save the dates to c, y and z (since they’re on our list anyways) and the rest will get wedding announcements. (Note: the rest didn’t attend our reception that was held IN THEIR TOWN when we legally got married, I don’t see them travelling 3k+ for this one).

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For sure! I wouldn't include the formal wedding details (including the date) on the wedding announcements - just a "We got married!" will suffice, you can put the date you legally got married if you want since it's in the past.

Do people know you're already legally married? If not, then I would hold off on wedding announcements for anyone until your formal wedding.

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MIL to say what she feels should be done by you for her son.

You and your husband invite whom is on your guest list and stick to that without any additions.

Even if you say NO to your MIL and she feels offended, its on her for her doing. She can set up something on her own to have the family meet you two on a separate occasion apart from yours.

No offense when I say DEMANDING

View quoted message I completely agree! No save the dates if your not intending on inviting them and your just going to have to stand up for your self with your MIL, I know it’s hard but this is your day.

wedding announcements are a great alternative for these family members

If you don't have an intention of inviting them I wouldn't send a std and tell your MIL that you will not be invited these additional guests. Hopefully you and your husband will be a united front on this issue so you'll have him to back you up.

You could send wedding announcements to these people.

Tell her no. Its what we did. We agreed in a budget and a guest limit that met that budget and when my MIL asked us to invite a bunch of other people we told her, politely, no. We explained that we don't have the room on our limit or budget and she did get a bit annoyed by it and also offered to pay but at the end she agreed and let it go.
Definitely do not send a save the date, or announcement to anyone that will not be invited. Even just an announcement I would assume that I would be invited to that wedding, because why would you send them something wedding related if you don't intend to have then join you that day.
Stick to what you two have agreed on otherwise you may regret it in the future.

I mean, if you have no intention of inviting them then that's when you and your husband have to put your foot down. Perhaps limit her to 10 people? Or just straight up say no, you are keeping it under low numbers and to people you and your husband know and talk to. All of that would need your husbands support for though to back you up. I would avoid sending a STD to people you don't invite to the actual event.