Bacherlorette party

View quoted message I would avoid this method mainly since she is your sister in law, if you’re rude about it you can leave yourself open for it to be brought up constantly in the future. If it was a friend you were ready to lose, then perhaps. But this is confrontational and it doesn’t end well with people you have to see regularly!

Best way to do it (though there’s certainly not a great way, these things are never easy!) would be to calmly talk to her and just explain that you really aren’t getting the impression she wants to be a part of the bridal party and that you think it would be best if she wasn’t part of the party.

I would tell her straight up and tell her that since she’s done nothing firbthis wedding then instead of “Stading up” she’s “Sitting down”

I would ask her why she can’t make it instead of assuming why.

If you don’t want her as a bridesmaid then don’t. I was asked to be a bridesmaid at my brothers first wedding. I had to say yes because it was my brothers weddding. I in no way wanted to be her bridesmaid, I hated her. Months later her and I got in an argument and I called her a “b”. She kicked me out of the wedding party. I had never been so happy in my life. My sister later asked me how I managed to get out of being in the wedding party lol.

Unless uou and her were close before you got engaged you can’t expect her to be all excited about being a bridemaid. Do you really think she had a choice when you asked her?

Chose your words wisely when kicking her out or you could cause lots of family drama. In my case nobody liked her and they were divorced in less then a year.

That is a tough one, but at the end of the day it is your day, so if you don't want her beside you then make it known. I would definitely get to the bottom of why she can not make it first though. I had a maid of honour chosen and she up and quit because and I quote "I'm a mother first" her daughter will be one year old at the time of the wedding so she doesn't want to be away from her, it definitely hurt, because I was just her maid of honour and I am a mother and somehow I made it work. Moral of my story is, I am happy she isn't in my wedding party and can have the right person as my maid of honour, if she hadn't quit I would have removed her myself honestly, as hard as that is to do. You are shelling out the money for this wedding so it needs to be the way you and your fiancé want it to go. Nobody else's opinion matters really.

Sorry to hear about what’s happening.

It sounds like the 2 of you have some things to work on outside of this wedding party issue but you and your FH should do what’s best for the two of you.

Years ago, I was asked to be a bridesmaid for my ex SIL. I agreed but I’ve never been close to her so in hindsight wish she hadn’t asked me or wish I’d had the guts to respectfully decline.

Feel confident in your decision to make a change to your wedding party. Maybe you can have her do a reading or something instead to still include her but not have her stand with you.

Good luck with your decision!

View quoted message Thank you tori.

She pulled the same thing when I asked her to be bridesmaid so it's not the first time. And I know her schedule nothing going on. But thanks

The way I would go about telling her is by doing it in person for one, and for antoher thing; I would tell her that since she's been so busy you have had to rely on your other bridesmaids a lot more and feel that it would be easier if she would sit out of the wedding party. Nothing against her (even though it is), but it's just how it's working out.

You should inquire as to why she can't make it to the bachelorette party, it sounds like you are assuming it's because of your neighbourhood. It could be because something unexpected came up. Because she is your FH sister, I would really put lots of thought into making such a drastic decision. Why not just tell her that it really disappoints you, and just leave it at that? You don't need to jump to punishing her. Just my 2 cents...

It’s YOUR day, if you feel she isn’t there for you, ask her kindly to sit it out and attend as a guest. The bridal party participants are supposed to help, if she doesn’t help or show interested, alleviate her of her tasks. Who knows, maybe she’ll be relieved. Hope all goes well