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Curious July 2021 Ontario

Bacheloretter/bachelor Party Invites

Lauren, on February 12, 2021 at 12:44 Posted in Before the wedding 0 7

Hey Everyone,

I have a question about etiquette for invites for the Bachelorette/Bachelor party.

Originally my wedding was going to be around 115 people. Now we are being cautious and only inviting 50 people to start, as we assume that will be the maximum we can invite to the wedding. We will possibly invite more as we get closer to the date.

Unfortunately, that means that some of our friends won't be invited to the wedding any longer. Not because we don't want them, but because we have big families and they take up most of the guest list.

Is it rude to still invite some of these people to a Bachelorette or Bachelor party? We're both heartbroken because we really looked forward to celebrating with our friends, and we don't know now if we're even allowed to invite them to those events. I'm thinking people would understand that we have to invite family and Covid has forced us to change plans... What does everybody else think? What are you doing?



Latest activity by Bella, on February 15, 2021 at 21:22
  • Bella
    Beginner October 2021 Ontario
    Bella ·
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    I'm in the same position! I'm not sure if I'll even have a bachelorette. Is inviting people to the shower and not the wedding that taboo? Our plan right now is family and bridal party... And then as many friends as possible.
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  • Sarah
    Beginner August 2023 British Columbia
    Sarah ·
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    My friend got married abroad with family only but I still went to her bachelorette party! I wasn’t offended, I was excited for them and their future and that they still wanted me to be part of it!
    Covid is an unusual situation and there isn’t a right or wrong answer. I think your friends will appreciate that you still want them to be part of your day in any capacity and will understand how hard this situation will be for you!

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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    It seems the bachelor and bachelorette party can be your friends if that works as them being there and not at the wedding. You can let them know on the invite as you celebrate with them and send the video/pictures after the wedding. Large families do take up a lot of the guest list as over half was my side itself.

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  • Michelle
    Curious September 2021 Ontario
    Michelle ·
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    Honestly, I think that in the age of Covid weddings, anything goes, as long as it makes sense for you. If you can’t invite people to the wedding because of gathering limits but you want to celebrate with them, and a bachelor/ette party is a way for you to do that - just communicate that with them, and I’m sure they’ll understand! Smiley smile
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    If it's a bachelor/ette party, then I think it's fine. Unlike a bridal shower, it's not an occasion traditionally for gift giving so it wouldn't be weird. I was invited to a bachelor party pre-covid but not the wedding and didn't think it was a big deal.

    Now, some people might be upset that they weren't prioritized for your wedding but that would come up regardless if they were invited to your bachelor/ette party or not.

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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
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    Pre covid this would have been taboo but now I think it would be fine. As long as you have a discussion so these people know you'd love to celebrate with them but can't they should be happy for you and happy for the opportunity to at least be a part of a piece of the celebration!

    Bachelorette and bachelor parties aren't occasions for gift giving (at least not in my experience) so it's not as though you're asking them to get you something and not giving them the wedding in return. I think it's fine!
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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    I think unless you have a very hard line with invites to your wedding you should only invite the same guests. What I mean by that is if you're only inviting family plus wedding party for example, then sure I can see how people would understand not being invited to the wedding but coming to the bachelor/bachelorette party. But if some friends are invited and not others I think it's a bit rude because you've essentially ranked your non-wedding party friends and made it super obvious. At that point I think just leave things how they are and don't invite the people that didn't make the cut.

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