Babys at Weddings

I would't be bothered that she didn't discuss it with you, and that it was more of an expectation. If she's breastfeeding, then there's no question...she cannot leave the baby at home. I think this is just one of those things that you just have to take it as it comes.

Sorry that your fiancee is feeling a bit unloved and that you're worried the baby's presence will cause mom-in-law to only pay attention to her new grandchild. Maybe mention those concerns to her before the day, and let her know? Chances are she's been so caught up in grandma-mode that she doesn't even realize her son is feeling ignored.

It sucks that you have all this stress but I think you are right that you cannot ask her to leave her newborn at home, especially if she is breastfeeding. I think you could ask her politely how she plans to handle the day and the baby and go from there and maybe bring up the fact that if the baby is fussy she should move away from things. I don't think it'll be an issue as most of the time newborns are sleeping so hopefully there will be no noise.

I think there will be tons of people there who are excited for you and your wedding and will not be distracted by the baby. Don't worry; so long as you and your FH focus on each other and have a great time the day is a success.

Oh I feel for you, your not tying to upset anyone but you want your day to go off without a hitch. I’m in a similar scenario my MOH is Preggo and due a month before our wedding. We had the same plan with no kids but how can we say no to a newborn? Her mom and brother will also be there and baby daddy isn’t in the picture to be able to watch the baby for the day. I know exactly how you feel and I’ve heard other brides in the same predicament- they say that newborns won’t fuss all that much as they will be sleeping most of the time. My MOH has also said that she will prepare milk for the baby for the day of so she can be more present with us. All I can do is hope everything goes fine and not stress as there isn’t a lot I can do about it unfortunately. I’m sure I’ll look back on the day with great memories of me and my FH because in reality that’s all that should really matter! Best of luck to you!

Https://m.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/pregnant-bridesmaid-etiquette?utm_campaign=ww-ideas&utm_content=advice&utm_medium=social-media&utm_source=facebook

this was from WW's Facebook page...might provide some insight.

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At least you know that there's still going to be TONS of guests there who will be super excited for your wedding and probably won't even notice that there's a baby there

Whenever you need excitement just come visit WW and we'll be excited for you!

Ooo this is a tricky one she really is causing you a bit of stress it sounds like so far?! Did you word on your invites no children? I think this is something you can’t talk to her about it has to come from her brother.. but I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell her no baby. Sounds like she’s made up her mind that baby is coming and I think it will be ok, she is probably trying to get a rise out of you but be the bigger person! The day will still be all about you two! It’s a happy time for both of you. I hope you get all the attention you deserve on your special day but you can’t demand it from people if his mom doesn’t give it to you on your wedding day then shame on her.

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You're probably right.

Its so tough too, cause we're geniunely SO excited about the baby, but less excited about the situation over all.

She got married last year, so the entire year was all Her her her. We get engaged, and all we've heard since then is "her wedding was like", "She should be a bridesmaid", "she's preggers!", "babybabyabyabyabyabyababyabya" lol

I think this is a losing battle. If my FSIL was having a newborn at our wedding, I'm confident my FMIL would absolutely be gushing about said baby. Just let it be, you can't take back anything you say/do after everything is said and done. I know your wedding is important (OF COURSE!) but the way you handle your first neice/nephew at your wedding might stick with you in your in-laws minds forever.

(Quick sidebar... if you are attached to a hotel or have one nearby... maybe the baby can be there in between feedings if feedings are the motivator for the sis in law.)

No matter what you decide with baby there or not... Your future mom in law will be so overjoyed with everything happening happiness will spread even more! Also, I'm sure you and hubs to be will be all over the place spreading love to all your guests and to each other...

We made our wedding kid friendly so a lot of small kids but what surpriced me is that my FSIL sister in law (phew mouth full) is bringing her 6 month, which i found so confussing because we did warn that we are dancing the night away lol. I am assuming they are coming for food and leaving lol.

We are also kid free, my FSIL is also pregnant baby will be a little over a month old, she has arranged for her husband's niece to actually babysit for the day in the hotel room. Since my venue is at a hotel and the ceremony & reception is in the same place it will be easy for her to sneak away when need be. Maybe see if something like that is possible....but it would be tough to word it...I'm sorry you are going through this.

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I completely understand being okay with the baby being there. Being so "fresh" and all... haha. But also that's when you could be totally hit or miss with the baby either sleeping the entire time, or screaming the entire time.

As Holly suggested, maybe if it's logistically possible, have someone watch the baby for the ceremony, so that you don't have a crying baby during your vows. And then at least at the reception, they can move around, have the baby in a carrier/car seat, rock it, etc.

I know my cousin said before her first child that it would be MONTHS before she's leave him on his own with grandparents... and yet after he was born, they started going on their date nights again after about 6-8 weeks. So she maybe hesitant at the thought of leaving the baby now, but by the time the wedding comes, she might want a day/night off!

It is very hard to ask a new mom to be apart from her newborn baby for the day. But I totally get how you feel, we are also no children. I would give her the option you have, leaving the baby with her husband's parents, see how she handles it. Explain to her that it is an adult event, and that you do not want any distractions or disruption during the ceremony. If she disagrees then unfortunately there is not much you can do, have their table close to an exit so that she can slip out whenever she needs to. And tell her that if the baby starts to fuss then she HAS to take the baby out of the ceremony. Or even tell her the baby can come to the reception but not the ceremony. She can have someone drop the baby off or she can pick it up. In the end it is your day and it is to be all about you. So even if you decide to tell her that no expectations she can't bring the baby then that's your choice, regardless of who is against it. If your FH will feel the day isn't about him and you then unfortunately you have to do what you have to do. It's your day so you deserve to be the happiest one there.

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She's a first time mom. And at the end of the day this will be our niece/nephew (only one).

I'm not going to fit on the baby coming at all, as I get its just a wee little one. I just wanted to try and set some ground rules with them, as I think that's really important as I don't want the day becoming about the baby. (literally everything else including our engagement, the bachelorette, etc etc has been about the baby or his sister)

Is it her first child? Because I could see a first time mom being very apprehensive to leaving a 6 week old baby.

However, just what you said, perhaps you and your husband need to sit down with his mom and talk this out. Explain that the day is about the two of you, and you want everyone there to be able to be present and enjoy themselves.

I'm doing no children as well, and when I tried to say "Oh, except for the flower girl", my step dad said, "No, if you make one exception, everyone will feel like they weren't important enough to bring their children"... So I think saying you want to keep it black and white might be more stern as well, without them feeling picked on.