Any brides have cold feet before the wedding?

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You're welcome!

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Yes, I can see that in myself also. You are very wise and sharing on this forum has helped me.

View quoted message You are welcome! Sometimes I think I write it as a reaffirmation to myself!

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Thank you for your kind words and good advice.

View quoted message Hope can sometimes let you hang on to something without working at it! Try to be in the present moment every day! Always say yo yourself, you are not that person you once were, you now want and deserve to be in a healthy loving relationship. Lastly, even if it didn't work out, so What. You don't have to beat yourself up or judge yourself. At least you have the courage and determination to put yourself out There! Get out of your own way, and enjoy this part of the journey in your life!

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I'm so glad there are others who understand my plight. I thought I was unique in this but you ladies have been lovely sharing your experiences and feelings with me. Thank you so much.

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Thank you for this link to the article. That helped quite a bit. The idea of getting married again is the hope that I have that "this time I've got it right". Without hope, what do we have?

Oh girl, I'm with you.. and I'm 10 months away. This is my second wedding too.. and I'm only 31. I got married to my ex at the age of 23 and had our first child at 24. We were together for nearly 10 years. After we split I said I would never remarry... then here we are, 5 years later and I'm marrying my best friend. I panic from time to time, as I'm sure any person does. Mostly because I'm scared of making the same mistake again as well. As soon as something happens that reminds of me of the past when I was planning my wedding with my ex I freak and tell my fiancé I want out. The difference this time is I knew my relationship was doomed last time. This time I know it's right and I know he is who I am supposed to be with. Suffering from anxiety and depression makes these emotions feel a million times worse than they should, which makes my panic attacks about getting married happen quite a bit, especially as of lately when we were having family issues on his side and dealing with unhappy people with our engagement.

Just breathe. If you guys are meant to be then this will all work out. And if it doesn't, then so what? You've given love and marriage another try with somebody you adore. You need to trust in yourself and know that you're not just doing this for shits and giggles... that you're marrying your best friend and that nothing can come between you two. When you have feelings of doubt, take a moment and sit with your fiancé and tell him how you're feeling. Talk through it all! Get out everything and then move forward.

Good luck

Sorry you are going through this. I've struggled with similar but never that I wanted to call it off. More of a what if I change and want to leave, or what if he does. Alot of what if. And FEAR is nothing more than False Evidence Apprearing Real. Here is an article I read that had some helpful tips. Also you can't grow as a person in a relationship if you aren't in one. But if you walk away, there is only 1 person responsible for that! And you will just walk away to go back to past fear and yo u wouldn't have learned very much. My FH said this to me the other day and I don't think he realised the impact of his statement. He said, "You can always look backward just don't move back there!" https://www.forbes.com/sites/meganbruneau/2016/08/31/4-strategies-for-lowering-anxiety-in-any-situation-and-performing-like-a-boss/

View quoted message I deal with the guilt too. And my guy does the same thing, he just wants things to go back to the way they were before I was anxious and wanted to break up lol he just wants to forget it even happened. But I feel guilty, and it kind of adds to my anxiety lolllll I want to make up for something but scared I'll do it again

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I went as far as returning the ring to him and saying that I'm calling it off. It really, really hurt him. After we discussed things (for 5 hours) I put the ring back on. Now I feel bad that I hurt him deeply. He's saying let's get past this and not talk about it any more. I agree but still feel guilty.

View quoted message I didn't straight up say let's call off the wedding, but I suggested we break up, after we were engaged, because I didn't think I could do it. Be the wife I wanted to be, and made him believe I could be. Stuff like that

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Thanks for being so candid, Bethany. I needed to know if anyone else felt this way. Did your anxiety make you want to call off the wedding? I had a meltdown but now I'm better.

Personally, I have anxiety. Not a panic attack anxiety but anxiety that makes me look insecure. I start making stuff up in my head that it's this way or that it's gunna be this way. Anytime I have a "what if" thought, I know it's not a real thought and just an anxious thought. If I start a thought with "what if", then it's not real. It feels like my anxiety just tries to protect me, because it doesn't want me to get hurt. So my anxiety is sparked even more when a situation is emulate of a time in the past that hurt me.
Even if he's a good guy, it's prob just a little anxiety and fear of being hurt that's coming out right now for you. Which is natural. my anxiety also got worse the more comfortable I was with him, cuz in the beginning, even if I like someone, I'm still emotionally removed. There's moments for me as the relationship progresses, that I feel a lot of fear and anxiety.
It's hard to feel that way because if you're anxious, even if u take care of one thought, your anxiety will think of another. So it's a loosing battle. Just tell your anxiety to settle lol and tell ur husband you need extra love and reassurance.