Anxiety over Bridal Shower

Yikes! What a weird situation. It sounds like since she's not in contact with anyone close to you that you might not even know a lot of people there?

I think people usually have the best intentions but they sometimes force their own preferences and wants on other people without thinking to ask if it's something they also want. I had a sort of similar situation where my MIL and SIL just assumed I was going to have a bridal shower and volunteered themselves to do it even though I never expressed any desire to have one. I had to say that I wasn't going to have a shower and it caused a bit of drama but fortunately the pandemic ruined any chance of having one anyway.

It might cause drama but if it's something you really don't want to do I don't think you should be forced into it to keep everyone else happy. Keeping yourself happy is just as, if not more important. I think you just need to tell this person that you really appreciate the gesture but it isn't something you feel comfortable attending.

You said your mom and sister were dropping the ball on it, which is why MIL's cousin is stepping in. So are people aware you do not actually want a shower? How long have you known about this person planning your shower? Maybe you can suggest a different event, like a simple afternoon tea to get to know the family.

PS This is the Canadian Weddingwire. If you want to chat with your fellow Americans, you need to go to weddingwire.com, not weddingwire.ca.

I went through something very similar! Without getting into family details, I didn't really have anyone to throw me a bridal shower. So my best friend's mom decided she would take it upon herself to organize one for me. It was a super thoughtful thing and I was going along with it because I wanted her to know how much I appreciated her and the thought and because she was just so excited for me. I'm also a chronic "yes" person, and one of my friends knows this about me and I was telling her the plan of the shower. She could tell I wasn't thrilled about it by my demeanour and she point blank asked me if I actually wanted it and if I didn't then I have to tell her and to understand that it should be what I want, and not what someone else does, and that I'll be so much happier and less anxious about the whole thing. And that's exactly what I did and I can't tell you how relieved and so much less stressed I felt once I did.