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Alternative Bridesmaid proposal format - thoughts?

BunnyBride, on April 30, 2018 at 13:43 Posted in Before the wedding 0 8

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Hi all,
I was just looking for thoughts/constructive feedback on an idea I had. I have been reading articles and discussions regarding Bridesmaid Proposals, because I do want to do them for my party and wanted to make them personal to the person.

One thing that has been pointed out in many of the places I read was to be careful as the more elaborate or personal the BM proposal, the more pressure there is for them to accept or makes it very awkward to decline, even if they really have to for time, cost, etc.

The udea I was playing around with was initially keeping it simple, like a card, to avoid anyone feeling pressured or awkward about it, and then sending a "welcome to the bride tribe" care package parcel thing with what I was thinking of putting in the bridesmaid proposal.

Is this a good idea or does it come off as rude or a breach of manners? I don't think it is rude personally, but worry about these sort of things.

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Latest activity by Alexis, on May 1, 2018 at 20:50

Devoted October 2018 Ontario
Alexis · On May 1, 2018 at 20:50
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My girls and guy all knew before I officially asked, but I love the idea of a "welcome to my bride tribe" gift after they accept. Funnily enough, my one bridesmaid being the jokester she is said "this is nice and all, but I'm going to have to decline". Luckily she was kidding, but I now joke that she turned me down.

I also used this as an opportunity to tha k them in advance and give them some wedding party prep props (custom champagne glasses and robes).
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Expert October 2018 Saskatchewan
Clarissa · On April 30, 2018 at 23:00
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I only have 2 bridesmaids. My sister and one of my best friends since elementary school and I’m sure they both knew it was coming. But I did decide to do something like this. I found some cute bracelets online and put together some fun bridesmaid proposal boxes myself. Just the wedding colours, the bracelet, a ring pop, mini bottle of champagne, and a fun list of “duties” that I wrote out of each of them. Each box cost about $12 each.
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Super August 2018 Alberta
Jennifer · On April 30, 2018 at 20:54
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No I don't think this comes across as rude, your proposal sounds good!
I purchased wine bags that had the proposal on them and put a bottle of whatever each girl likes to drink in them. Nothing too fancy, and I think my friends expected I was going to ask them haha
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WeddingWire Admin October 2016 North Carolina
Lynnie · On April 30, 2018 at 18:49
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I think that sounds perfect Carolyn!!

It also totally depends on your friends - and you’ll know best whether or not if being asked to be a bridesmaid could be stressful or surprising for the people you’re asking! I was similar to Stephanie and Jessica that my friends knew way before the engagement that they’d be in my wedding party! ❤️

I still made them cute proposal boxes because I wanted to do something fun, but I was pretty confident they’d say yes!
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Super July 2019 Ontario
Jennifer · On April 30, 2018 at 15:56
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I did this. and kept it really simple. I bought custom printed cards on zazzle (obsessed with the site...if only ordering 1 thing shipping is expensive. but if you ordering a few things more affordable). and bought a different/unique card for each girl. I then bought a little bracelet in a knot and wrote on the card "help me tie the knot". I got the bracelets from amazon (for under 10 each) and the cards were 2-3 each. nothing over the top, but I wanted to do something for them.
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Super August 2334 Nova Scotia
BunnyBride · On April 30, 2018 at 15:26
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Thank you both! I think it was just me over thinking/over worrying about it in seeing how relaxed yours both were. It's good to get a second set of eyes sometimes for that reason to get out of your own head! lol
My fiance's proposal to me was arranged to be a surprise (like ninja level stealth until the moment of proposal...lol), and to be honest I didn't really think too much about wedding planning until after that. The subject never really came up for that reason in conversation with the people I want.
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Super March 2018 Ontario
Jessica · On April 30, 2018 at 15:16
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I was similar to Stephanie where a few of my friends already knew beforehand, and I sort of confirmed it once we got engaged, and my two sisters-in-law, were just asked on the phone or in person. I did give them quite the gifts (a basket with many things personalized to them) the day before the wedding, as more of a thank you for putting in all the time and money into my wedding, which I thought went a long way.
I don't think there is any right or wrong way. If you want to make a basket ahead of time that works, but I also love your "bride tribe" idea for after they agree. Whatever you feel best, I say go with it!
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VIP May 2019 Ontario
Stephanie · On April 30, 2018 at 15:08
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In all honestly... I had mentioned to my girls even before engagement that if I were to get married I would want them on my party haha!
So after the engagement it was kind of... already in stone? I asked a few others drunk at a party so etiquette was out the window for me ahaha!
I do plan on giving them a "Thank you for joining me on our day" gift closer to the wedding but the "proposal" was very laid back for me!
Same with my fiance and his groomsmen, he asked his Best Man specially but the rest he bought a round of shots for the boys and asked them at that point before they shot it back!
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Alternative Bridesmaid proposal format - thoughts?

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