aita for not wanting to hang out with my fellow bridesmaids?

NTA. Your sister is being a bit of a bridezilla and I'm sorry she's putting you in this position. That's really unfair and a lot to ask of anyone, especially a parent. It also is most certainly not a standard part of being a bridesmaid.

This might not be a very popular answer, but I think because she's your sister you can just be completely honest and candid with her. You can tell her that you don't have the time or energy to do what she wants and you don't think it's fair to expect this of you just because you're a bridesmaid.

I like the suggestion someone else made of seeing if another bridesmaid can handle organizing these meetings and you can pop in when you have the time. However I still feel like monthly meetings are way too frequent and I wouldn't be surprised if the other bridesmaids aren't into the idea either. Maybe once every 3-4 months or something would be more realistic? That way it can be a bit of a catchup but you can work some wedding related things into them?

Let us know what happens! I hope you and your sister work something out!

You seem to have more going in your life and have to meet your sisters expectations of organizing the dinner parties ZOOM on her behalf. It doesn't need to be done as you are busy and not on the same page as the other bridesmaid. Your sister can have the other girls to hangout themselves and whenever you can, do so for how long you feel you want when free time comes along.

I see both sides of the token and a medium can be worked out for the best for your sister to understand. She does she what family can be like as you being a mom taking care of the kids, home and more as well as a sister giving a hand when possible to her.

NTA. You don't need to be besties with her wedding party. The amount of time you will all spend together (at max a wedding shower, bachelorette shenanigans, the day of, and maybe a gift opening) does not require you to all see each other, even digitally, every month. Right now I barely see my real friends or loved ones once a month, so it seems like a steep demand to me.


If you're the odd one out who isn't already included in her group, then I could see her request as a way to make you more comfortable and included but it's a weird way to do that. Video group chats are not the same as interacting in person and personally I don't find they give me the social boost I need to feel I'm still in touch.

I would suggest she get her MOH or she herself organize the dinner parties. Being a bridesmaid does not mean you signed on for that much. Also everyone has a life if their own. Once a month is a lot to meet up with someone else's friends. Maybe see if every other month works instead?

NTA. Even if you don't have other priorities, I'm pretty sure there's no custom in any culture where signing up to be part of a bridal party means obligatory monthly dinners until the wedding date.

Ooh bridal Reddit, I love it.
NTA. I get where your sister is coming from in a way. She’s probably trying to come up with ways to keep you all together and have fun since you can’t have showers, diy parties, planning sessions or a bachelorette with covid hanging around. Some people are also the “everyone has to be friends” types and have hard time when that’s not your cup of tea. The best way is to meet in the middle: she can explain her motives, and you can explain yours. You are a mom so you also have a spouse and kids to be with (and she may need to be reminded that her wedding is not priority #1 in your life, nor should it be as a bridesmaid IMO) and probably don’t have time to meet EVERY month. That being said, pop in for the ones you can and who knows, it might work out nicely.