Advice for the married women - Manage stress day of wedding

I appreciate this post! I feel like this is going to be ME 100%.

We ONLY get access to the venue at 3pm, for a 4:30pm start. Luckily the venue is (smallish) and already beautiful decorated, so our decor is going to be fairly simple to set up. But this has me freeeeaking out because I can't be apart of this at all. During that 1.5 hours we will be wrapping up first look photos and then up to the bridal suite for me to relax while guests arrive and such. So I won't see the decor & set up until our grand entrance. Ugh.

I've already mentioned it a few times to my bridal party. I have been assured a million times to trust them to take care of all the details and just relax. I feel lucky enough to have ladies I can trust, as well as extended family members who have offered to step up and help coordinate/decorate. I am going to be doing mock set ups of everything, taking photos and sending this out to my team to help them get my vision down. But ultimately, I think I will get over it in the moment and as someone mentioned, only YOU know what you want it to look like so if it does not work out, the no one will know.

Good luck and wish you all the best on your upcoming wedding day! Would love to hear a report back

Just remember the entire focal point / purpose of the wedding is you and your partner and beginning a future together. All of the little things won't matter in the long run!

Here is what happened at my wedding:

Things went wrong and I didn't even know. Family, friends, your bridal party etc. will rush in, fix everything, and walk away as if nothing happened.

While we were out getting some photos of just the two of us one of our nephews spilled a bottle of red wine all over one of the tables. My aunts and bridal party stripped the table, found a replacement cloth and bottle of wine, and put the whole thing back together. I didn't even know that it happened until the day after.

We also couldn't find the salt and pepper shakers day of. I took a deep breath and realized everyone has these things. I filled the two sets in our home and called a few family members on their way to bring their sets. People shared and no one cared.

I think the best thing you can do is just know that things will go wrong. They will. But stop and ask yourself: what is the purpose of this day? Is it for people to gush over their name tags? Do you honestly remember what the centrepieces looked like at a wedding 2,3,4 years ago? This day is for marrying the love of your life, and as long as that happens- you've won. Everything else is just extra and just think of it that way. It's sprinkles on the icing on the cake.

It will be wonderful. Just breathe and enjoy it. You can only feel these emotions on your wedding day. Not before, not after. They are uncomfortable but they are beautiful.

Create a list off phone number of people you trust that can be called the day of and that the vendors etc can rely on and you can rely on them to get things done the way you want. Ensure you really trust them to see your vision through and take a deep breath! It will all be fine

So I’m along the same lines, super anxious about things, especially things I’ve spent two years planning. Surprisingly though, I woke up on my wedding day to s thunderstorm, my hair/makeup artist was half hour late and I hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep, but I was excited and not at all anxious. Once we had the rehearsal and everyone in the wedding party knew what was happening I just calmed way down. You can’t control most things on the day of because being the bride keeps you SO busy! As long as you have people who can help with anything that comes up the day of, you’ll be good. The day is fun and exciting and it’s hard to have any negatives or stresses once it finally arrives!
enjoy, I hope all goes well for you 😊

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That's so exciting!! I am sure it will go perfectly well. Its great that you have someone you trust to help you out with this though!!

My wedding is in October and I’m a control freak 😬 I am lucky to have found find that someone who understands me and has the same vision as me in whom I can trust (someone I’ve known for a long time) She will be decorating/coordinating the entire event and that already has put a huge weight off my shoulders! I hope you all the best on your soon wedding day! So exciting 😍

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Hi Vinod !

Thank you for the tips. I think that I will try to have a mix of fun events with friends and family the week before yet I will still try to go over my list to reassure myself that everything is in order. I really do want to be fully present the day of and not worrying about what might be happening behind the scenes etc!!

The big day is what we do look forward to when it comes to the final days of planning. Though I always looked the lists and ensuring everything was in order and perfected to the final touch.

However, it was work that I also did have to focus on and keep my attention there without and distractions. The idea helped to keep my thoughts of the wedding plans as much as it consumed me.

Take daily walks in the evening, movie night outs and enjoy time with friends and family.

View quoted message Hopefully it will help both of us. I will know soon enough if it works for me. Our wedding is Saturday 😊👰🤵

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I think that's a big thing - just trust things will go well. You'll have the support of your family and bridal party the day-of and the first look will probably help a lot with the nerves!!

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That's good to know!! I think that you're most likely right and that I will wake up ready to get married I just don't want to be my own worse enemy !! You're right about being busy actually ! It will go by really fast!

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We are during a first look early afternoon so I think this will help alot with my nerves! I asked my MOH to spend the night before at the hotel with me and I asked my bridesmaid to bring good music so we can enjoy it and have fun. I am hoping to have most of it ready the day before as we have access to the reception room then so, I think everything should be okay, I just need to be calm and trust that everything will be ok even though it most likely wont go exactly according to plan haha

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I have been working on this with my decorator - a lot of back and forth at the moment. We should have it covered - but its good to have it all documented so my bridesmaid can go check in during the day to make sure it's going well. I think it will go well, I just need to have one trusted bridesmaid to make sure we are following the schedule!!

I thought the same thing and I was so chill from the moment we woke up. Probably because at first it was just a normal day, waking up to our son needing food and attention. Even once my husband went and met his guys in their room and my girls and hairstylist and photographer arrived I was still super chill. I didn't once worry about what was happening at the venue.
I think this is a worry everyone has and it seems that almost no one actually spends their wedding morning worrying. I think you'll surprise yourself with how calm you are on your wedding. You're going to be so busy you won't have time to worry!

My bridesmaid got married just over a month ago. She said she was stressed/nervous up until she walked down the aisle. Once she saw her FH standing at the alter, all the stress melted away.

She told me later that having us (the bridal party) keeping her calm and having fun during the getting ready phase really helped her calm some nerves. So having fun with your bridal party the morning of can make a difference!

She was also able to have most things ready the day before and if anything needed setting up day of, she left it to a trusted person. Like Amanda said, you're the only one who knows exactly what you planned, so if things go off-plan, no one will really know except you.

At the end of the day, if you got married, your day was a success!

I suggest making an images board of setups that are similar to what you are thinking of, print and hand to the bridesmaids so they have an idea of what you want it to look like? maybe for centrepieces, you can arrange one at home and take a photo for everyone to refer to. On the day of, arrange one table and they can follow that arrangement for all tables.. maybe make a floor plan and mark things where you want them to be..

I am also thinking of this as I am quite particular with decor arrangement

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I like that - it's so true. And honestly I feel as though we kept it fairly simple but we shall see!! Thank you for those words!

Hopefully your bridesmaids will help with this. Some advice I got and I repeated it to myself often throughout the day -

No one knows anything you have planned. If things do not go according to plan, you are the only one who will know.

Just remind yourself why you're there. Keep your eye on the prize.

It should be a fun, peaceful day full of love. Try not to sweat the small stuff.

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I like that. We won't be able to do that but we are doing a First Look in the early afternoon so, I will make sure to take that time to connect before everything happens!

We decide to stay together the night of the wedding and wake up together and have breakfast and then go our separate ways. Get ready and once ready have a first touch moment if time allows, just to touch, talk, calm each other down, but not see each other all dressed up. Trying to keep our regular schedules as close to day to day as possible as we live together now and sleeping apart would only add to the inability to keep calm before the wedding.

1. Like how Becky said, have your girls check in on everything

2. Have your FH write you a letter that basically says to CALM DOWN - everything will be fine

3. Everybody has opinions and this day is about you and your FH and the two of your opinions are the only ones that matter.

4. Try and remind yourself what we all have to remind ourselves; as long as by the time your head hits your pillow at the end of the night you are next to your HUSBAND then it was a success.

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Yes exactly ! I would just tell them what you are wanting it to look like and for them not to call you or stress you if doesn't look like that for them to just fix it.

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I like that - I could ask my bridesmaid to go check and make sure it's going well.

Everything is happening in the same venue so It should be ok timewise!

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What we did for my friend when I was in her wedding party few weekends ago- we new she would stress about setup if right or not. Half of us stayed with her and other half went and checked on it as we had time to do so and fixed what needed fixed. I would suggest doing this as it helped her stress soo much!

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I definitely will try! I just hope that I won't be stressing about how the set up is going or if everything is on time! And no, I will definitely check in wedding wire once in a while to offer advice if i can!

I get what you mean but try to enjoy in the moment of your wedding on the big day. You can tell us about it all after. If you are meaning how to let go of wedding wire after the big day or how to let go of the wedding after the big day? Then I would say see how you feel after the wedding, it might feel like a big stress release and just come natural