Advice

I didn't get any advise while planning since no one shared on their part.

My advise to anyone is do what the vision is for you as the couple. Compromise on areas where you both feel conflicted and meet in the middle. There will be times where you two will have agree to disagree moments and need to think some decisions over to know what your middle point is to meet.

Drama within the family and wedding party will occur which may put a damper on your planning process. Don't let them get to you or upset over little things. Its not worth the stress and losing sleep.

Your means of budget will allow you to still be in the black and your vendors to allow you to cut any of the package details out not needed.

I am getting married September 19, 2020. I have had to replan my entire wedding in the middle of covid. My advice, just do what YOU and your partner want to do. DO NOT worry about anyone else. No one really cares about your wedding besides the two of you. Do what you want and cut who/what you want if need be. You are going to get so much stress from other people (vendors included). If you can just stick to your guns and have the day you want, you will have no regrets.

Also, don't sweat the minor details. in the grand scheme of things, they don't matter, and no one will notice.

My Best Man told me "No one cares about your wedding (more than you do - except maybe your mom)." And I can't agree more. This may even be upsetting to some but it's true.

I have family and friends act completely irrational because of weddings. One of my friends rented a mobile bar for their wedding because the stationed bar at the venue was not aesthetically pleasing to them. Another spent hundreds of dollars to get coloured water glasses because regular water goblets were too plain. A co-worker paid for five (FIVE!!!) engagement photo sessions so that they can get more variety of locations to show off at the wedding slideshow.

Fiancee's uncle demanded that the pig roast served at her cousin's (uncle's daughter) wedding be suckling pigs. A regular adult pig costs maybe a fraction more than a suckling pig but can feed 10x more people. But it had to be a suckling pig because it represents her virginity (!!!!!)

My mom threw a family dinner in Toronto for those who couldn't attend my sister's wedding in Vancouver. Spent thousands of dollars on expensive seafood to feed a bunch of ungrateful people, all because of pride. To this day, she complains about how some people flaked the day of or how others brought their five kids without notifying her beforehand.

To everything above, I just ask - why?

To put this advice on a more positive note - some weddings may not have been perfectly planned, and many had their hiccups for sure. But I can honestly say I've never had a miserable or even bad time attending them. I'm celebrating the love of people I'm close to with other friends that bring me joy in my life. Weddings are expensive and in some cases, an investment. If I didn't care for the people, I would've declined. Unless they literally fed me dog poo or something, I seriously won't be bothered if my water glass was plain instead of purple, that the bar looked ugly, or if the delicious pig I shoved in my mouth was a not virgin (I probably would've preferred it to be honest).

This is a piece of advice I’d tell anyone after planning our own wedding: don’t tell people your plans until they’re finalized. We received a lot of unsolicited advice and felt a lot of pressure about certain things that we mentioned before they were set, so some thought they could talk us into different ideas.

Sort out your priorities early on!! Sit down with your SO and pick three aspects of the wedding that are most important to you. (Ie An amazing meal? Dream photographer? Particular entertainment? Open bar? Decor?). And then splurge in those areas and cut costs elsewhere where necessary. At first, I was consumed by this perceived pressure to make every part of the wedding *next level*, and unless you have a team of planners and limitless budget it’s really just not possible! Better to focus your money and efforts on the aspects that are most important to you.

Don't sweat the small stuff.
This year a lot of things became "small stuff" as the plans changed repeatedly. The small things aren't usually the most important, and most people won't notice if something small is missed. I can't speak for everyone, but for us the focus on what was most important shifted as covid changed our plans and I learned what really is the most important for me.


Another wonderful piece of advice (unfortunately from a divorced friend) is to not put yourself in debt for a single day. In the long run you'd rather spend the money on down payments, vacations, and making each other comfortable and happy.