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Melinda
Devoted September 2017 Ontario

A psa on loving your body!

Melinda, on March 7, 2017 at 16:04 Posted in Before the wedding 0 15

Hi Ladies!

This is a bit of an essay, but lately I've been thinking a lot about the pressure brides get about looking good on their wedding day and I have a few thoughts that I wanted to share. I saw a pair of leggings in a sports store that said "Sweating for the Wedding" and it really irked me. I really hate that women are bombarded from a very young age with the idea that our self-worth is based on how our bodies look. The expectations from society, from the diet industry, and from the fitness industry are just so warped and completely unrealistic. Like any other woman of any other size, I have struggled (and still do sometimes) with my body image, but I started trying to appreciate my body and get on board with the body positivity movement.

One of the biggest take home messages for me with respect to body positivity is that I don’t need anyone else`s permission to love my body. I don`t need permission from society, I don't need permission from the diet or fitness industry, and I don`t need permission from my partner. I have a good body - we all have good bodies - and It`s ok for me to love my body, right now, exactly as it is, without changing anything. My body can do incredible things. It allows me to do so many things that I enjoy like walk my dog, hug my fiancé, go to work, talk to my friends... If I focus on all of the amazing ways I use my body every day, how it looks is basically irrelevant.

Another concept that I think is so vital for people to understand is that healthy has a different definition for everyone. You cannot judge a person`s level of health based on the size or shape of their body. Health encompasses so much more than what I look like on the outside – it’s also how I feel physically, mentally, and emotionally and it can change from day to day or even from hour to hour. I like to exercise, but that doesn`t make me better than someone who doesn`t. I still have lots of jiggly areas. I have rolls on my tummy and I’ll never have a thigh gap, but that is ok because that is how my body is put together. It does not have any reflection on my overall health or my worth as a person. This is how my body looks when I am enjoying a life of balance. Maybe I don’t meet the criteria for an idealized body, but I meet the criteria for an idealized me. And overall, I’m the one who has to deal with being me every day. And I want to be the happiest, healthiest version of myself.

So when I work out I'm not "sweating for the wedding", I'm sweating for me.

15 Comments

Latest activity by Amelia, on January 14, 2020 at 11:41
  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
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    I share your "irk" at those sweating for the wedding workout outfits.


    I was already making some better healthier choices before we got engaged and I'm shocked at how many people will say "is this your new wedding diet?" or if I mention a yoga class or workout it's a "wedding workout". Ugh, people suck!
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  • Kirsten
    Frequent user April 2020 Alberta
    Kirsten ·
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    View quoted message

    We all have that panic when shopping I think, I know i did because the ones that i had in my mind wasn't what I bought. But all that matters is that we feel confident and that we love ourselves and that our future husbands accept us. You look great btw!

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  • Kirsten
    Frequent user April 2020 Alberta
    Kirsten ·
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    I am glad that I came across this. Yes I have been working out, and loosing weight for the wedding would be a bonus but I bought my dress to fit the size I was at the time. My mother made a comment when I was dress shopping and one of the dresses were a little tight saying "well you will lose the weight by the wedding" Um, no. I am buying a dress to fit me not changing myself to fit the dress. If my fiance had an issue with my body he wouldn't be marrying me. It really hurt when she made that comment, and it wasn't the last comment about losing weight she has made.

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  • Emily
    Expert September 2020 Ontario
    Emily ·
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    This is a little hard to share but I'm so happy you shared your post. This picture is me having a panic attack after trying on my "dream" wedding dress and it not looking "how it should" on me. I was so wrapped up in the stupidity of looking a specific way, now I look at the photo and I think the dress looks fine! (But obviously love the one I chose more Smiley winking ) My bridesmaid was a superstar and just got me through it.

    photoA psa on loving your body! 1



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  • Emilie
    Featured Quebec
    Emilie ·
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    Hey Melinda! This is such a great message! Thanks for sharing this! I couldn't agree more! Smiley heart

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  • Vanessa
    Frequent user June 2018 Ontario
    Vanessa ·
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    Hear, hear!

    Great post. I think it's totally correct to have a self assessment of "healthy", it'll mean something different for everyone! For myself, it is being vegan, being mindful of what goes in my body and also exercising.

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  • Melinda
    Devoted September 2017 Ontario
    Melinda ·
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    Yay, I'm so glad when I hear that other women are fighting back against pressure to be perfect! And it's true that it is an internal battle every day. It's not easy, but when we bring it to the front of our conciousness, it allows us to make decisions that nurture our bodies and not battle against them. Never feel guilty about food! You do not need to earn it. Food is fuel, it is nourishment for your body so that you can do everything that you want to do each day. Some foods are better enjoyed in moderation, but that doesn't make them bad and it doesn't make you bad for eating them. I eat chocolate every day because I like it and it makes me feel good. Our souls need nourishment too and sometimes that comes from chocolate and that's very much ok!

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  • Melinda
    Devoted September 2017 Ontario
    Melinda ·
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    Thanks! I have more where that came from, lol! Pretty soon I'll be shouting from a soapbox and buring my bra!

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  • Kacy
    VIP February 2019 Quebec
    Kacy ·
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    THIS. This right here is PERFECTION. What we should all strive for, what I strive for. I have my slip ups, but my goal is to be kind to myself, be patient with myself when I'm not seeing the changes that I am working towards, and be realistic. I can love myself, and SHOULD love myself, and stop comparing my body to others. As you said, we can do incredible things with my body. I'm working out a lot, have been on and off for the past while, not because I want to look "perfect" for my wedding, but because I want to look and feel good for myself, and be a good role model for myself (yes lol) and my future children. My goal is to be able to do at least one assisted pull up. It might sound small, but that's my goal right now! Why? Because, why not! Because then I can climb a rope, I can go all the way to the ceiling if/when I start back at silks/pole fitness (inteeeennse workouts, let me tell you!), I could improve at rock climbing, because I will have proven to myself that I can do it. Yes, I sweat for myself and my happiness. Thank you for the post, it is EXACTLY what I needed, a good solid reminder, as I almost slipped up just now, despite having worked out twice today (though my supper was horrible, I know I sabotage myself... But hey, balanced life!). So much love, Melinda xoxoxox
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  • Simone
    Master August 2017 Manitoba
    Simone ·
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    Your welcome Melinda! Everyone needs to read this as it's true that we have the media pushing out unrealistic body images. I watched say yes to the dress and there are women who go through this when trying out dresses. I'm glad you posted this and it's great timing indeed for International Women's Day!Smiley smile
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  • Melinda
    Devoted September 2017 Ontario
    Melinda ·
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    Thanks! I just realized that tomorrow is International Women's Day so it's good timing for my rant ☺

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  • Melinda
    Devoted September 2017 Ontario
    Melinda ·
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    Exactly. It's ok to make changes to your life that might change your body too, but it has to come from a positive place. If you hate your body now, you'll still hate it when you're a size 2 or have abs because you got there from a place of shame and hatred. I know, I've been there and I was miserable. Don't have "body goals". Have goals about how you want to feel in your body or things you want your body to be able to do - like I want to feel strong or I want to run a 5km, or I want to wear a crop top and let my rolls hang out and not give one damn about it ☺ Whatever works!!

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  • Simone
    Master August 2017 Manitoba
    Simone ·
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    Well said Melinda! Smiley smile
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  • Samtam
    VIP November 2016 British Columbia
    Samtam ·
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    I agree! Great post Melinda!

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  • Melissa
    VIP June 2017 Ontario
    Melissa ·
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    I love this! And I love you for posting it Melinda!

    I think we all need this reminder...pretty much on a daily basis! We are all "enough" and just right the way we are. Choose to make changes if you want....but do it for your own reasons. Not because someone else makes you feel like that SHOULD be what you want.

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