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Sharon
Newbie May 2020 Ontario

2 ceremonies because of Covid-19?

Sharon, on March 28, 2020 at 23:33 Posted in Wedding ceremony 0 12

Hi all,

Another corona bride here seeking some advice.

Our wedding is on May 7th, 2020. I've canceled my bridal shower, bachelorette and all other bridal festivities. Although all municipalities are currently closed, one agreed to meet us by appointment only to give us a marriage license. All our venues and major vendors are willing to reschedule to a safer date.

We still want to get legally married on our day. From what I've read, most people are postponing receptions. My question is, would it be weird if we had a full religious ceremony AND reception at a later date? We don't want to wait an indefinite period of time to get married and my fiancé returns to school out-of-town in September. We didn't want to start our marriage when we'll be somewhat long-distance.

Can I have a small private ceremony with our immediate families and reserve the wedding day festivities (bridal party, church ceremony and reception) for a rescheduled date?

We would be upfront with our guests that we would already be legally married at the religious ceremony. I don't want it to seem like our ceremony is a reenactment/do-over. If so, do we avoid re-telling our vows? Instead, do we just get a blessing from our pastors? Getting married in that church is really important to me, but being married to my person is what matters most.


We couldn't have planned for a global pandemic, so I'm hoping our guests would understand.

A lot of tears the last two weeks, but we're getting through this!! Thanks in advance.

12 Comments

Latest activity by Amelia, on March 30, 2020 at 12:49
  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
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    It doesn't sound weird at all! If ours is cancelled we will have a symbolic ceremony later for our friends and family.


    I can't imagine guests would be upset, everyone is in the same situation. Plus once we're all out of quarantine people will love an excuse to see everyone!
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  • Sharon
    Newbie May 2020 Ontario
    Sharon ·
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    Thank you for your feedback Tori!
    Really appreciate it 😊
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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    That sounds completely reasonable! I would still want to be married on "our day" had we been in this unfortunate situation. If the church is okay with it, and both you and your FH agree - I say to get married on your wedding day and do the full wedding day after the pandemic is over Smiley smile Just keep in mind that lots of people will be strapped for cash due to layoffs so try and postpone your wedding until at least a couple months after the pandemic is over if possible!

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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Its great news to hear your venue and pastor agreed to still be open for you and marry you on your chosen day. Reception has been done later for many couples including my in laws who eloped the day before us one year later. Its amazing the marriage license is getting done too. There isn't anything wrong with keeping a reception date for months later to have your family and friends coming out to celebrate your married life. Email to the guests is a good idea to let them know too so they are aware given the situation right now. I have had attended a lot of receptions in town that were held 2nd time even after the wedding held in other countries.
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  • Sharon
    Newbie May 2020 Ontario
    Sharon ·
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    Our original church venue and pastor are okay with it! Thanks for your feedback Hank. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    Does your pastor allow it? I know a lot won't because they want their officiant to be the one legally binding your marriage through the word of God via their institution. If you're getting married legally beforehand, some pastors feel their work carries no weight and therefore won't conduct them. A lot of churches also won't allow marriages to be officiated on their property unless it's through their pastor and the wedding that takes place is the legitimate one that legalizes the marriage.


    If your pastor is okay with it, then I suggest retelling your vows but add to them to reflect the experiences of your first few weeks/months being married. It'll also give you both some genuine surprises when read out loud. You could also perform some kind of visual symbolic ceremony like the sand pouring that's typically omitted from a civil marriage ceremony. Of course, your pastor will have to change the line about how powers vested him is what legalized your marriage.
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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    With you wanting to keep the May 8th day I'd think it would be relevant to the question. The gather limits most likely won't be over by then. However, if they are I'd totally do a small ceremony to keep your date and then a bigger party later.
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  • Sharon
    Newbie May 2020 Ontario
    Sharon ·
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    Sorry for misspelling your name, Rayanne.
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  • Sharon
    Newbie May 2020 Ontario
    Sharon ·
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    Thanks for your feedback Madisyn. This is helpful! Glad that you were able to get married before all of this. I wish you the best with your hopefully sooner-than-later local plans!!
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  • Sharon
    Newbie May 2020 Ontario
    Sharon ·
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    Thanks for responding Raynne. I’m aware of the gathering limits, but that’s irrelevant to my question. I’m not asking for your personal opinion on waiting for gathering limits to increase. I’m asking for advice regarding having two ceremonies. Thanks!
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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    Well now that we can only have groups of five you'll only be able to have 2 witnesses, officiant and the two of you. You won't be able to have a photographer either. Personally I would wait. It is too important to have any get together with anyone outside of your household. Stay home, stay safe.
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  • Madisyn
    Expert February 2020 Ontario
    Madisyn ·
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    At this point, I think everyone is choosing different ways to celebrate and the rule book has been thrown out the window! I'm sure all of your guests will be understanding of everything that you decide. Ours have been nothing but sympathetic! We got legally married in February ahead of our destination wedding that was planned for April 11th. We are now planning a full ceremony and reception in my hometown when all of this clears up. Everyone knows we are already legally married, and they still want to share our magicial day with us! I say do whatever your heart wants. Every couple is making unconventional decisions right now. Just make ones you'll be happy with in the end!
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